Doggie Smarts
/How do you test your dog's IQ?
What's So Funny?
sharing the life stories of immigrants, expatriates, and refugees to the United States
How do you test your dog's IQ?
What's So Funny?
Alan shares three jokes from the workplace. Can you practice telling them and share them with your American co-workers?
What if your dog chases neighborhood children on a bike?
What's So Funny?
The way the joke is introduced, we assume the dog is chasing children who are riding their own bikes. The punchline surprises us when we realize it is the owner's dog who is riding a bike while chasing the children of the neighborhood.
A zookeeper is having problems ordering replacement animals. Today's joke involves both critters and English grammar.
What's So Funny?
Some words in English have irregular plurals. For example: one goose, two geese. However, it's: one moose, two moose and one mouse, two mice. How can a speaker be sure of the correct grammar? By using the singular form…and then repeating it!
What do you say to comfort a grammar nerd who's very sad?
What's So Funny?
To comfort someone, we sometimes pat the person on the back or shoulder and say, "There, there, there." Of course, the nerdy people who know details of English grammar know there are three different ways to spell this word.
What did the bartender ask Charles Dickens when the author ordered a martini?
What's So Funny?
Two popular garnishes for a martini are an olive or a twist of lemon rind. Charles Dickens wrote a novel about an orphan boy in 19th century London named Oliver Twist.
What does a French chef's sweetheart receive for Valentine's Day?
What's So Funny?
We often give our loved ones a hug and a kiss. The word "quiche" sounds like "kiss."
A woman dreams all night long that she is a muffler.
What's So Funny?
The woman's night-long dream left her feeling exhausted (very tired) in the morning.
The smoky emission that comes out of a car's muffler is called "exhaust."
Why did the new father only change his child's diaper once a week?
What's So Funny?
The father read "5-10 pounds" on the diaper package. He thought it meant the capacity of the diaper, not the weight of the child.
What is the best part of giving someone a refrigerator for his/her birthday?
What's So Funny?
The expression "your face lights up" means you are so happy that your face becomes brighter. A refrigerator has an automatic switch inside that turns on the light inside when the door is opened. The light shines on the contents of the fridge and the face of the person who opened the door.
A sheepdog brings a flock of sheep back to the farm at day's end. "I brought back 30 sheep," the dog tells the farmer. "But I only have 27 sheep," the farmer protests. "Oh, I know," said the sheepdog. "I rounded them up."
What's So Funny?
The expression "to round up" has two meanings:
1. In mathematics, rounding means going to the next even number. If the total is 26, 27, 28, or 29, it will be "rounded up" to 30 If the total is 24, 23, 22, or 21, it will be "rounded down" to 20.
2. In herding, like in police work, "rounding up" means gathering together many stray individuals (for example, sheep or cows in ranching, or criminal suspects in policing).
A drifter comes into town and asks if there are any odd jobs he could do.
What's So Funny?
The drifter misunderstands the woman's job instructions. She says to paint the porch, but he thinks she says the Porsche (which is an expensive car). Both Porsches and BMWs are expensive German-made cars.
Riddle #1
Q: Why was the number 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7-8-9.
What's So Funny?
The numbers 7-8-9 sound like "7 ate 9" and a good reason for 6 to be afraid of his neighbor.
Riddle #2
Q: What did the number 0 say to 8? A: Nice belt!.
What's So Funny?
The number 8 looks like a 0 with a tight belt around the middle.
Riddle
Q: What did the duck say when she went to buy lipstick? A: Put it on my bill.
What's So Funny?
The expression "put something on my bill" means to charge something to one's account. The duck wanted to pay for the lipstick later. A second meaning of "bill" is the mouth of a bird, which is where a duck would wear her lipstick.
Joke #1: What's So Funny?
Ole is dying but would like to eat one of his wife's famous brownies before he dies. Lena won't permit it because the brownies are meant for the guests who'll be attending Ole's funeral. Scandinavian immigrants are often seen as very practical people. In this case, Lena is being a practical host after Ole's death instead of being a kind, loving wife while he is still alive
Joke #2: What's So Funny?
Scandinavian immigrants are stereotyped as using few words to communicate. Lena gives only the bare details to the obituary editor: Ole died. Most people would expect a short history of his life and his interests, so this is abruptly funny. When the editor asks if there is more information (because a few additional lines won't cost more money), Lena adds: Boat for sale. Again, she uses few words and is sounding more practical than loving in order to sell Ole's old fishing boat.
Riddle:
Q: What's red and invisible? A: No tomatoes.
What's So Funny?
Ripe tomatoes are red. If you can't see them, they're invisible. If you can't see them, how do you know that they're red?
Our American church sign series celebrates the humor of locally installed messages. Churches often use their signs to announce events, but this one simply posted a joke. The image below is repeated from the full television episode with Christine Lee. Do you get what's so funny?
Background
Many people accept information on the internet without thinking critically. This leaves them susceptible to misinformation and outright lies. Consumer groups warn that individuals should not not believe everything they read.
What's So Funny?
This sign contains a message to dishonest bloggers to stop making up quotations. However, it is "signed" by Mark Twain, an American writer who died long before computers were invented.
Our American church sign series celebrates the humor--intentional and unintentional--of locally installed signage. Sometimes churches use this space to announce events, but this one tries to give a message of comfort. The image is repeated below from the full television episode. Do you get what's so funny?
Background
Some people worry so much that it causes severe problems with their health. The first line in this notice acknowledges that.
What's So Funny?
This sign contains an unintentional mix-up with words. The sign-maker meant to say, "We can help with your worries." However, the way the sign reads, it sounds like it is saying,
"We can help kill you."
GTRI Show: Knee Mail
Continuing our American church sign series, we observe that American churches will use their outdoor signs to announce scheduled events, share upcoming sermon topics, or give advice. As a public benefit, church employees often post clever messages and give passersby something to think about and chuckle over. This week’s sign is repeated below from the full television episode. Do you get what's so funny?
Background
There is a Christian tradition of praying on one's knees as a way of humbling oneself to communicate with a higher power--either to express thankfulness or request help from life burdens. Over history in general, many people would lower themselves on their knees to show respect for authorities (like kings, queens, or other high-level leaders).
What's So Funny?
The expression "knee mail" sounds like email. The sign is encouraging people to talk to God in a traditional, non-electronic way. Even Americans who aren't religious will appreciate the cleverness of this word play.
As we continue our American church sign series, we note that American churches often use their outdoor signs to announce scheduled events, share upcoming sermon topics, or give advice. Happily for us, church employees often post clever messages and give passersby something to think about––or laugh at. This week’s sign is repeated below from the full television episode. Do you get what's so funny?
Background
There is a list of famous blessings in the Bible called the Beatitudes. (You can read all of them here.) The basic format goes like this: Blessed are [the merciful] for they shall [be shown mercy]. (The old-fashioned use of “for” here means “because.”) The person who made up this church sign "blessing" created a new category: flexible people.
What's So Funny?
This sign contains a play on the words. Flexible people are able to bend with each situation. The expression “get bent out of shape” means to become upset or angry.
Feel Like You Belong is a sometimes serious, sometimes funny, always “touch-your-heart” real conversation about fitting into the American culture. It introduces guests who have made the immigrant journey to the United States. The stories–of both struggle and success–will help newcomers feel more confident in sharing their opinions and expertise, more likely to want to stay in the U.S., be more productive in their jobs, and fully invest in their communities.