Fish Riddle
/What part of a fish weighs the most?
Buffalo Joke
/A mother sends her young boy off to school.
Q: What did the mother buffalo say to her boy as she sent him off to school?
A: Bye, son!
What's So Funny?
The answer, "Bye, son" sound just like the name for the American buffalo, "bison"!
Hockey Joke
/Alan asks why hockey players don't have any frosting on their birthday cakes. Can you guess why?
What's So Funny?
There is a double meaning here. Another name for the frosting on top of a cake is icing. In ice hockey, there is a penalty for shooting the puck the entire length of the ice rink; that illegal action is also called icing.
Dentist Joke
/When is the best time to go to the dentist?
What's So Funny?
The best time to go to the dentist is 2:30, which sounds just like tooth-hurty.
Skunk Joke
/Alan shares a well-known riddle about skunks.
Q: How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
A. Hold its nose.
What's So Funny?
There is a double meaning here. The skunk has a strong odor, so we say it smells (bad). The other meaning is what the skunk does with his nose: it smells (things in the world around it).
Baby Camel
/What happens when a one-hump camel and a two-hump camel have a little baby without humps? What do they name it?
What's So Funny?
This baby camel is free of humps.
Deer Joke
/This week's humor segment involves a deer and a riddle.
Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A. No idear.
What's So Funny?
The answer, No idea( r ) sounds like no-eye deer.
Cannibal Joke
/Two cannibals are eating a clown for dinner.
What's So Funny?
In English, when we think something tastes strange or not quite normal, we say it tastes funny. In this joke, the word "funny" has a second meaning because clowns are funny and make us laugh!
Husband on Freeway
/A wife phones her husband while he's driving home on the freeway.
What's So Funny?
The wife warns her husband about a report that a crazy driver is going the wrong way down the highway. The husband's answer indicates that he is the person on the news report.
Lawyer Fee
/A lawyer charges $1000 for three questions
30-Foot Ladder
/A worker falls off a 30-foot ladder and tells a co-worker.
What's So Funny?
The co-worker is surprised to see no injuries after the report of falling off a tall ladder. The assumption is the fall happened from the top of the ladder (a long way up in the air), but the fall was only from the second step (and no big deal).
Dress Boutique
/A woman walks into a boutique and asks to try on the dress in the shop window.
What's So Funny?
The woman asked to try on the dress THAT SHE SAW in the window display. The clerk thought she wanted to try on the dress WHILE SHE WAS in the window display. (Of course, the dressing room has more privacy for changing clothes!)
Dog Martini Joke
/A dog walks into a bar and orders a martini.
What's So Funny?
This joke relies on the mismatch of intentions. When the bartender asks his question, his focus (and surprise) is on seeing a DOG ordering martinis. When the dog answers, its focus is on the terribly high PRICES of the drinks. Humor often relies on switching expectations between the beginning of the joke and the punchline.
Jumper Cables
/What happens when a pair of jumper cables walks into a bar?
What's So Funny?
When someone warns, "Don't start anything," he or she means not to start any trouble. There is a double meaning with the word "start" because the job of jumper cables is to jump-start car batteries which aren't working.
Asphalt Joke
/"A man walks into a bar" is one of the most famous joke introductions in English. Here, Alan gives the latest variation on this classic genre of American humor.
What's So Funny?
Customers in the U.S. may ask the bar or restaurant server to get them something "for the road." This means the patrons will be leaving soon and want food or beverage in preparation for leaving. (The expression "to hit the road" means to leave, to get going.) This is funny because the bar patron in the joke has a piece of road material (asphalt) with him when he enters the bar.
Doggie Smarts
/How do you test your dog's IQ?
What's So Funny?
Workplace Jokes
/Alan shares three jokes from the workplace. Can you practice telling them and share them with your American co-workers?
Bad Dog Joke
/What if your dog chases neighborhood children on a bike?
What's So Funny?
The way the joke is introduced, we assume the dog is chasing children who are riding their own bikes. The punchline surprises us when we realize it is the owner's dog who is riding a bike while chasing the children of the neighborhood.
Mongoose Joke
/A zookeeper is having problems ordering replacement animals. Today's joke involves both critters and English grammar.
What's So Funny?
Some words in English have irregular plurals. For example: one goose, two geese. However, it's: one moose, two moose and one mouse, two mice. How can a speaker be sure of the correct grammar? By using the singular form…and then repeating it!