U.S. Highways
/Navigating U.S. highways can seem a confusing proposition. I-94? US-131? M-45? Alan explains the system behind the roadways that take Americans from here to there.
Dropping the R-Word
/We know we shouldn't be calling people "retards." Even though we don’t want to offend and say the wrong thing, we often don't know the proper language to use. The expression recommended by the people at r-word.org is “intellectual disability” (they sometimes abbreviate it as I.D.). Find out about this national campaign to change the U.S. conversation so everyone can feel like they belong.
Choosing the Right Words
/It's important for us to use the right words when we communicate with others in the workplace. Do you know the difference between some "feedback" and an "update"? Alan gives a real-life example of an email from a boss to a subordinate that has unintended results.
A while ago, I was reminded about the importance of choosing the right words in our communication. I was working with a South American client—let’s call him Antonio—on his emailing skills, and I read a note he had sent to an American subordinate.
Antonio started out the email like this: “Tim, I wanted to give you some feedback.”
In the 3 short paragraphs that followed, Antonio (again, the boss) gave Tim a compliment, shared some information, and then expressed his thanks.
When I got to the bottom of the email, I was puzzled. It didn’t contain what I expected, so I read it again. And again.
It finally occurred to me, Antonio had set Tim up for bad news but then only shared positive things. When a native speaker writes “I have some feedback for you,” the reader is expecting criticism. If the message is from your boss, like in Tim’s case, you have that heart-sink feeling. The thought is, “Uh-oh, I did something wrong, and now I’m going to hear about it.”
The situation here was that Tim had only done good things. However, because the email had started with the word “feedback,” Tim was going to be reading the rest of the note looking for the bad news...which never came.
In this case, the right word choice would have been “update.” When Americans hear “feedback,” they understand that as a warning. In short, an update is for news (or something neutral), while feedback concerns quality or accuracy (and usually something bad).
I’ll post a transcript of the email in our What’s Up? blog, so you can read it for yourself. In the meantime, pay attention to the words you choose in your communication. You could be saving someone a small heart attack.
Hero or Bystander?
/Are you a hero or a bystander? Do you have what it takes to be decisive and act in an emergency? According to psychologists, there are seven questions to ask yourself to judge whether you're the type of person who steps in when the chips are down. Alan gives examples of real-life emergencies and the tools to judge whether you're hero material.
Hero or Bystander?
How would you react in an emergency? Would you risk your life to help somebody in danger?
An article in the Wall Street Journal gave several examples.
A gardener in New York State looked up and noticed a confused 81-year-old driver stuck on a railroad crossing near her house. She ran barefoot to the car, pulled the woman out, rolled together down the railroad bank, covering the old woman with her body, just moments before a train smashed the automobile. The hero was slightly injured; the old woman was unhurt.
Until we encounter that crisis, we won’t know if we will step up to the challenge or freeze up and do nothing. Recently, scientists have identified the qualities and attitudes that separate heroes from the rest of us.
There was the case of the Brooklyn, NY, man who caught a 7-year-old child falling from her apartment window. The force of the child’s weight did severe damage to his arm muscles and nerves, requiring months of physical therapy. But in the moment of crisis, his only prayer was to not miss the falling child, who was saved without a scratch.
Could we have done that, we wonder?
The article told of a military officer who refused to leave the side of a soldier who had a grenade embedded in his leg. He stayed with the injured man until the evacuation team could get the soldier to a bomb squad, who safely extracted and carried away the explosive. The officer didn’t have to accompany the injured man, but he had promised he would stay with him until the explosive was removed.
Are we as brave as these heroes? According to psychologists there are seven questions to gauge yourself, by answering on a scale from Strongly Disagree to Strongly Agree. The higher your score, the more likely it is that you are brave, empathetic, hopeful, and coping—all the traits that are required to be heroic in an emergency.
I often have tender, concerned feelings for people less fortunate than me.
Fear does not keep me from pursuing my goals.
I try to understand my friends better by imagining how things look from their perspective.
Despite numerous setbacks, I usually succeed at getting what I want.
Fear does not stop me from doing the right thing.
I want to be competent, and I believe I can be.
Being truthful is extremely important to me.
So, what do you do if you get a low score? Don’t beat yourself up. Most of us aren’t heroes. We’ll just have to be content being good at something else.
Dealing With Workplace Whiners
/They are inevitable in any workplace: the whiners who prefer complaining over finding solutions. Changing jobs won't help you because these grumpy people are guaranteed to turn up in your next company. Join Alan as he offers tips on dealing with these unpleasant co-workers. Along the way, you'll learn great synonyms for "complaining" that you can practice at work--in a friendly, non-complaining way, of course!
Suggestions for Learning English? I'm All Ears!
/How do learners improve their English skills? By listening to authentic speech by native English speakers. Today, Alan talks about his personal language learning experiences and mentions a podcast for free subscription, All Ears English.
What’s one of the best ways to learn another language? For me, it’s by listening to native speakers engage in real conversation. I’ve traveled to over 3 dozen countries in my life, studied a dozen languages, and the most rewarding part has always been authentic dialogue.
When I lived in Germany as a college student, I liked my classes at the University. But I got far more engaging “lessons” by hanging around real Germans. Living with a family, I got to listen to their daily banter around the dinner table and around the house. I can still imitate many of those conversations today.
Decades after that, I moved to Brazil. I took classes at a language school and with a tutor, but spending time with my Brazilian friends at the beach gave me a chance to listen to authentic talk—and ask them questions!
Today I’d like to share with you a great service for intermediate and advanced students of English. It’s a daily podcast called All Ears English.
It’s the product of teacher, traveler, and language guru, Lindsay McMahon and her team of expert English teachers. Subscribing to the free podcast is done easily via iTunes, and listeners can tune in daily on their commutes to work or school.
What I like most about All Ears English is that it offers natural conversation between fun-loving native speakers of American English. Their tagline is Learn English, Love Your Life. And their philosophy is gentle and realistic: Connection, NOT Perfection! After all, everyone makes mistakes. And if we’re going to make progress, we can’t get hung up by putting details ahead of fluency.
I know there are times when you can’t be watching our TV show to improve your English: when you’re jogging or bike-riding or driving a car, for example! For times like those, you need a good podcast to occupy your time but keep your eyes where you’re going to stay safe! A perfect time, then, for All Ears English!
If you try out their podcast, let me know how you like it. Your new skills might be just what you needed to help you go out and make some new English-speaking friends!
Public Signs: Taking Time to Get It Right
/Alan takes a look at various signs that business owners put up in public view...without taking the time to proofread. Can you spot the mistakes? Test your English spelling and grammar skills here. Good news: you can’t do worse than the shop owners featured in this story!
Have you ever been out in public and noticed mistakes on signs? They can be fancy ones that cost a lot of money. They can also be simple ones that were handwritten.
In both cases, no one checked to see if they were correct. In the case of handwritten signs, it’s not such a big deal. Those are mostly temporary and will be taken down soon. In the case of more permanent signs, they can make the person or company look careless or maybe even uneducated.
A common mistake is punctuation. In fairness, most English speakers weren’t paying attention when their teachers were explaining punctuation. They were busy talking with their friends or rolling their eyes and thinking how boring punctuation is.
The most common error is with apostrophes. People just insert them when they’re not sure, usually before an S. This is called the greengrocer’s apostrophe because grocers who sell produce often have to hand-letter small signs telling which kinds of vegetables are for sale.
Here are some cases of signs I’ve photographed with an extra apostrophe.
[Bra’s and Brief’s; note: women’s is correct] [Daddy say’s] [Sunday’s]
Sometimes they’re really expensive ones, like this restaurant sign: [Cheer’s]
I got into trouble about this one. (I’ll tell you the story if you ask me.) [Pita Wrap’s]
My colleague, Becky Ticotsky has a blog called Apostrophe Catastrophes where she shows photos of lots and lots of signs with mistakes on them. You can check it out here if you want to see them—or maybe to check your own ability to spot mistakes!
Here are five more signs I’ve seen in public.
[CNN: it’s]
[Mancino’s: your wanted]
[Unnamed restaurant: excepting reservations]
[Sunnyslope Florist: everyday]
[Gift Shop sign for sale: lay down]
Can you recognize what’s wrong with them? Send us your answers, and we’ll tell you if you’re correct.
In the meantime, if you're going to the effort of communicating with public signage, be sure to spell-check your work. Or hire a language consultant to get it right for you! ;-)
More Strategies for Small Talk
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Do you freeze up when needing to have a conversation with Americans? What topics are safe to bring up? What is inappropriate? Some of the answers will surprise you. Don’t create awkward moments among your new American acquaintances. Check out Alan’s tips here.
Global Talent Retention Initiative
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Thousands of bright international students graduate from Michigan’s colleges and universities every year. Once they've fallen in love with the Mitten State, what are employers doing to make sure they keep that knowledge and passion right where it belongs? Learn about retaining the superstars of tomorrow from Michigan’s Global Talent Retention Initiative.
Who's on board with Michigan's Global Talent Retention Initiative? www.migtri.org
Michigan Governor's office
Office for New Americans
Global Detroit
30+ Michigan Universities
University Research Corridor (URC)
American Immigration Lawyers Association (AILA)
Michigan economic development agencies
Ethnic chambers of commerce
Professional organizations
Contractions in English
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I’m sure you’re going to like today’s story. It’s simple, it’s useful, and it’s something that most English learners need more of.
What’s that, you say? Well, we’re talking about contractions. They’re the combination of two words into one, to make speech smoother and more efficient.
If you’re an English learner, perhaps you’ve been told NOT to use contractions in your speech. Maybe the teachers in your home country told you that they’re a lazy or sloppy way of speaking.
The opposite is actually true. Native speakers use contractions all the time. It combines shorter, less important English words (can’t, you’ll, she’s, they’ve, isn’t, I’m, he’d, wouldn’t) so that your speech will flow more easily.
When native speakers hear contractions, they don’t analyze them directly, but they FEEL them in the conversation and perceive it as friendly and normal.
On the other hand, if you over-pronounce English phrases
I WILL GO WITH YOU. (Instead of “I’ll go with you.)
If you pronounce every syllable
WE WERE NOT READY. (Instead of “We weren’t ready.”)
You will sound like a computer or a robot instead of a real person. Even worse, you will sound like you are angry AND CHOOSING TO EMPHASIZE EVERY WORD.
So, let’s all practice using contractions. It’s the right thing to do, don’t you agree?
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Footnote: Don’t use contractions in formal writing like business letters or research papers. On the other hand, if you use them in email, your readers will “feel” your friendliness when they read your message. Don’t be afraid to practice this. It’ll make your readers (and listeners) like you.
Sticky Fingers
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In a recent report, the Wall Street Journal cited some shocking statistics about Americans who steal merchandise from stores. People in the U.S. shoplift 1.6 billion—that’s billion with a B—dollars worth of goods every year.
The interesting name that the reporter gave this theft was “sticky fingers.” Now, this is an idiom which means “theft” or “the tendency to steal.”
I like using colorful idioms because they often paint a picture of what the meaning is. In this case, the item to be stolen will automatically stick to a person’s hand (and then he or she will hide it in his/her coat or pocket or purse). So, what are sticky-fingered Americans stealing?
The top five are, in order,
1. wine or spirits
2. make-up
3. jewelry
4. swimwear
5. sunglasses
This makes sense because these items are all small and easily hidden on a person. Just remember, the next time you hear someone talking about sticky fingers, it may not because they need a napkin. They could be doing something unlawful!
The Sweetest Sound: Getting Names Right
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How do you respond when you hear a name that’s not familiar? Maybe it’s a very long or unusual name. Maybe it’s foreign sounding to your ear.
In any case, while it may seem strange to you, it’s pretty important to the person who carries the name. I know some Americans who feel embarrassed about saying unusual, foreign-sounding names.
Sometimes they just smile and nod, but they never make the effort to say the name out loud. Worse yet, they may say, “How about if I just call you Bud?”
News flash: These are not good approaches. Just as your name is important to you, so is each unique name important to its owner. Let me give you some tips.
If you don’t understand the person’s name, just smile and say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that. Could you say it again?”
If you don’t understand a second time, it’s not a big deal. Chances are, the person knows he or she has a difficult name. The person will feel respected, however, if you make the effort to say their name.
Maybe you can ask them to repeat slowly. You can say, “Sorry, I’m not good at names, but I’d really like to get your name right. Can you help me learn it?”
A great example is our guest Reouhidi Ndjerareou. The average American—me too, actually—gets a little freaked out when we see too many vowels or too many consonants stacked up in a way that looks unfamiliar (not the English way, basically).
One thing that helps me is to make up mnemonics for words that are hard to remember. In our friend’s case, I think of rowing a boat across a small pond and seaweed gets all over your oars. In other words, I think of “row” and “weedy.” That may not be the perfect way to say his name, but it’s close enough to help me remember it and close enough for Reouhidi to feel I respected his name.
If you go to our What’s Up? webpage at FeelLikeYouBelong.com, we offer more tips for working with unfamiliar names. In the meantime, don’t be shy, learn a new name, and make someone’s day!
Illegal or Undocumented?
/Can a person be illegal? According to immigrant rights activists, no. Only their activities can be called legal or illegal.
And last year, the Associated Press (followed later by other U.S. news organizations) AGREED with those people and decided to change how they refer to people who enter a country without documentation.
Just the other day, my friend Corin and I were having a conversation on this topic. Like most of us, she wanted to show sensitivity to the situation of others but said it’s hard to know what to say. From that, I developed a simple guideline for your future conversations.
The primary thing to understand is people and actions are separate.
Therefore, a PERSON
- is undocumented
- is without papers
- overstayed his/her visa
- doesn’t have official status
On the other hand, a PERSON’S STATUS or ENTRY
- is illegal (or is legal)
For example: Raymond came to the U.S. illegally when he was in high school, but now he’s a naturalized American citizen.
- came here legally (or illegally)
For example: Christiana entered legally on a student visa, but she stayed on past the expiration date after she met her future husband.
So, to review:
- People ENTER illegally (see “enter” is an action verb), but
- People ARE undocumented. (“be” is a non-action verb)
I hope this helps your future conversations. Let us know if you have other questions, and we’ll try to answer them in future segments of What’s Up?
First Impressions (Part 4)
/6. Remembering names: An old proverb says, “The sweetest sound to the human ear is that of one's own name.” If you are able to recall a name later in the conversation or in future meetings, you signal to the other person that you value knowing him/her and have made the effort to remember his/her name. For this purpose, insert the name in the conversation several times before saying goodbye. For example, "How long have you lived in Hong Kong, Rebecca?" Making a comment: "Wow, Doug, that's a great tie. Did you find it here in the city?"
If the person comes from a different background, the name may be unusual. If you don't understand the name upon introduction, immediately ask for help since repetition is crucial. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. Could you say that name again?" If you don't catch it a second time, apologize for not hearing it and ask the person to spell it. This may lead to an interesting conversation about the person's name and background. For example, "I've never heard the name Headbloom before. Is it common in the U.S.?"
7. Saying goodbye: Farewells provide one last chance to practice the new person's name. Be sure to include it: "It was so nice to meet you, Samuel. I look forward to seeing you again soon." If there was something particularly interesting in the conversation, you may close with, "Sarah, I look forward to continuing our conversation about [say, World Cup soccer]." or "I enjoyed hearing your thoughts on [say, student scholarships]."
Americans may not shake hands on subsequent greeting, especially if they meet fairly often. However, it is appropriate to shake hands in farewell after the first meeting. If the conversation has gone particularly well or a special warmth was felt, the handshake may be accompanied by one or two pats of the left palm on the person's shoulder or upper arm when saying goodbye. If you feel a particular closeness to the other person, the double-handed handshake can communicate special warmth.
So, there you have it: 7 tips on making a good first impression. If you have other questions on interacting with Americans, send them to us via our website, Facebook, or Twitter. Who knows? Perhaps we will feature your question in a future segment. Take care, now!
First Impressions (Part 3)
/4. Language: Say, "It's a pleasure to meet you, [so-and-so]." You will need to repeat this person's name three times during the first meeting if you want to remember the name. Please note: English speakers say "meet" only on the first meeting. On a following meeting, say, "It's nice to see you again." (Not "meet you again.") Another option might be: "It's really great to finally meet you, Susan. Ben here has told me so many good things about you."
5. Informality: Americans tend to be less formal than many cultures and often call each other by first name. If you are a student meeting other students your age, this is appropriate. However, it is not a bad idea to show respect to an older person when you first meet him/her by using the person's title plus last name (instead of first name only). Here, you can take a cue from the person who is introducing you. Note the difference in the sentences below.
· Khalil, this is my old friend, Bob. (Your reply: "Nice to meet you, Bob.")
· Khalil, this is my friend, Bob Pesek. Dr. Pesek is director of XYZ Institute. (Your polite reply: "It's nice to meet you, Dr. Pesek.")
After a while in the conversation, Dr. Pesek may invite you to "call me Bob," which you are then welcome to do. Note: Americans use a title (Mr, Ms,* Dr, Capt, Pastor) only with a last name. Some cultures (for example, Arabic) use the title along with a first name, but this is inappropriate in English. So, for example, do not say "Mr. Alan" or "Ms. Jaclyn."
First Impressions (Part 2)
/3. Handshaking: If your first culture does not usually shake hands, this is an area of special importance. Americans are taught to believe that a firm handshake is a sign of sincerity and good character. There are five levels of firmness in a handshake.
1. the dead fish: the hand is limp and unresponsive and feels like a piece of lifeless meat
2. weak handshake: the hand is somewhat engaged but feels soft and unsure
3. moderate handshake: the grip has medium resistance
4. firm handshake: the hand is strong and confident
5. the bone crusher: this handshake hurts you and makes you wish this person were from a bowing culture
Everyone needs to grip somewhere in the middle, avoiding levels 1 (wet noodle) and 5 (knuckle grinder). It is a good idea for men to grip between 3 and 4 on the handshake scale. For women, a firmness of about 3 is considered appropriate in business contexts. The old-fashioned handshake for American women was to shake at only the fingers or fingertips. In today's business world, both men and women are expected to shake hands with the hands fully engaged, with the web between the thumb and index finger touching the web of the other person. If the other person's handshake is weak or not fully engaged, it communicates reluctance or disinterest in the relationship. On the other side, the "bone crusher" handshake is viewed as too aggressive or perhaps just insensitive.
When meeting an American, engage in eye contact, smile, and pump the other person's hand 2-3 times (about one second), then let go. Occasionally, a person will hold on longer than this, which might be taken as a sign of extra friendliness; however, too long of a grip (say, over 2 seconds) can make an American feel uncomfortable. To show extra warmth or hospitality, Americans may put the palm of their left hand on the back of the person's right hand so that his/her hand is sandwiched between both of their hands. This double-handed grip may last 1-2 seconds. Be careful with elderly acquaintances; an extra firm handshake may injure their fragile hands. I recommend you ask your American friends to test your handshake for the appropriate level of contact and firmness.
*NOTE: Today, the formal way of addressing a woman is with the title "Ms." plus last name. The distinction of marital status between "Miss" and "Mrs." is seen by contemporary professional women as unnecessary and out-dated. However, if you know that a person prefers the more traditional Mrs. or Miss, then you should use that title in connection with her last name.
(For more information on handshaking etiquette, go here: http://bit.ly/JnzHJm.)
First Impressions (Part 1)
/Every culture has rules for when you first meet someone. American culture is no different. Americans make a judgment about the person they meet based not only on his/her language and behavior but also on such details as facial expressions and perceived warmth. To ensure a first meeting with an American businessperson goes well, here are some basics to keep in mind.
1. Eye contact: Look the other person in the eye. This shows confidence and is taken as a sign of sincerity. Avoiding eye contact makes a person appear weak or hiding something, maybe not trustworthy. After a few seconds, you can take a break and look away, then look back for several more seconds. (Looking away occasionally is important because eye contact for 100% of the time might be seen as too aggressive or having sexual interest.)
2. Facial expression: Smile.* Americans see this as a sign of warmth and friendliness. It indicates openness and a willingness to work together. You will notice that Americans usually smile in all their photographs. This certainly includes Facebook pictures, but it will usually include photos taken for work badges or their company website. This is often not the case in other countries.
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*NOTE: While we cannot control the teeth we are born with, American dental practice has raised expectations of good dental health for anyone in the public eye. Teeth that are missing, crooked, or stained can harm a person's professional appearance. For this reason, many American adults are getting braces to align crooked teeth. Dental implants are now commonly sought to replace lost teeth. Treatments are also available to whiten teeth that are stained due to aging, cigarette smoking, or coffee and tea drinking.
Confusing English Pronunciation: Overview of American English Vowels
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Why do learners have such a hard time with English sounds? Blame it on the Normans!
How the Monkeys Saved the Fish
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How the Monkeys Saved the Fish
This folktale comes from the East African country of Tanzania. Does your culture have colorful folktales that offer wisdom and insight into human behavior? Please share them with us!
Gizmos and Do-hickeys
/Gizmos and Do-hickeys: Things you Forgot or Don’t Know the Names of
I’m not very mechanically minded. There are lots of tools and devices I don’t know the names for. This thing, for example: [show gadget]. Or what do you call this thing? [show gadget 2]
In English, there are technical words for items that the average person does not know the name. This is because every area of life—from auto mechanics to medicine, to architecture and barbering—have more details than we non-specialists can handle. In short, it takes an expert to identify and label these specialized items.
When we don’t know what to call something in English, we use a word that means “it’s a thing, but I don’t know the name for it.” In standard English, we may call something a gadget, a widget, or a device. If it’s bigger, we might call it a contraption.
But on the informal side, there are more interesting words that Americans use when they don’t know what to call something:
a gizmo
a thingamabob
a thingamajig or a thingy
a do-hickey or doodad or doojigger
My favorite is whatchamacallit – which is a slurring together of the phrase “what[ever] you may call it.”
And then there’s the related whatsis – from the question “What is this?”
The next time you’re helping an American friend with a project, don’t be shy about your limited vocabulary. Everything has a name for it. Just call it a thingamabob...or maybe a do-hickey!
