The Language of Nothing

Zip. Zero. Nada.

Every language in the world talks about nothing. Nothing can be found on tongues around the globe. So why do we make a big deal out of nothing? Because the absence of something is nothing to sneeze at. Zero makes a big impact.

Other English Words for Nothing:

• goose egg
• aught
• naught (or nought)
• nil
• null
• no
• none
• nix
• oh (or the letter O)
• zilch
• bupkis (or bupkas)

photo: fotolia.com

Numbers
In non-scientific discussions, Americans prefer saying “oh” over the technically correct form “zero.” This may be because it is shorter (one syllable instead of two), or it may be because the number zero looks like the letter O. If I hear someone say “zero” instead of “oh,” I assume s/he is a foreigner or an engineer.

Addresses: the mailing zip code for Allendale is 49401, pronounced four-nine-four-oh-one. A phone number I frequently call is 901-xxxx, nine-oh-one…. The street number of my church is 4010, pronounced four-oh-one-oh. (Some people might say forty-ten.)

Both Americans and Brits use “oh” when talking about the world’s most famous spy. James Bond is Agent 007, pronounced double-oh-seven.

The most common introductory classes at the university are Math 101 or English 101, pronounced one-oh-one.

Nothing in Sports
In sports, a player or a team can have zero success in a game. In American English, we pronounce the numerical concept of zero in a couple of ways.

Baseball
If the pitch count is 3-0 (three balls and no strikes), 2-0, or 1-0, the pitcher is “behind” the batter. Here, the proper pronunciation is three-and-oh, two-and-oh, or one-and-oh. Conversely, if the pitcher is “ahead of” the batter, the count is 0-2 (no balls and two strikes) or 0-1. Here, we say the count is oh-and-two or oh-and-one.

If a batter has a bad day and goes hitless, his plate appearances might be 0-4 (zero hits in four at-bats) and we say he is oh-for-four. In a hitless three-game series, he may be 0-12 (oh-for-twelve). If the series is played, say, in Chicago, a clever announcer may say the batter is oh-for-Chicago.

photo: AP/Elaine Thompson

In a no-hit shutout, where an entire baseball team goes hitless and scoreless, the scoreboard will show all zeroes. For the above photo, the announcer might remark that Los Angeles “put up nothing but goose eggs.”

American Football
If a quarterback misses five passes in a row, the announcer might say the QB is 0-5 (oh-for-five) on his last passes.

Basketball
A player who misses all seven free throws in a game (or all ten shots) is said to be “oh-for-seven from the line” (or “oh-for-ten from the field” ).

Tennis
A tennis score of 15-0, 30-0, and 40-0 are pronounced fifteen-love, thirty-love, and forty-love. From the mug below: I played a tennis match and was goosegged. I lost 6-0, 6-0, 6-0.

photo: urbandictionary.com

Golf
A golfer with a zero handicap is called a scratch golfer.

All Team Sports
When talking about win-loss records , the number of wins is given first, using the word “and.” An undefeated team could be 9-0, pronounced nine-and-oh. A winless team would be 0-9, pronounced oh-and-nine.

In giving a final score , zero has several pronunciations. A final hockey or soccer score might be 2-0. You could say two-to-nothing, two-nothing, or two-zip. An American football team losing 21-0 was shut out twenty-one-(to-)nothing or twenty-one-zip. A British football team losing 1-0 is said to have lost one-nil.

photo: zazzle.com

Hunting
Shotgun shells have different sized pellets packed inside. The most commonly used gauge is 00, pronounced double-ought. Because “ought” is an old-fashioned word, many modern speakers mistake this expression and say double-odd.

Examples from Life

• Our team worked really hard to make our quarterly goal. Afterwards, my supervisor got a big raise, but the rest of us got diddly squat (zilch, zip, nada, bupkas).
• After all her hard work, nothing changed. She couldn’t believe her efforts were for naught.
• The sign below made me smile when I saw it in a local retail shop. I guess the clerks there will let you shop without bothering you. If you have a question, they assume you will ask.

photo: A.Heaadbloom

New vocabulary:

• nada = Spanish word for nothing
• zip, zilch, diddly squat = slang expressions for nothing
• goose egg = zero (the shape of an egg)
• nothing to sneeze at = not insignificant, worth paying attention to
• bupkas = nothing (from Yiddish), literally “goat droppings”
• the aughts = the decade following the 80s and 90s, 2000-2009

photo: stoners.com

“Did you hear about…?”

“Did you hear about…?”

If you hear an American start to ask this question, you have to be careful.  It could mean he or she is getting ready to share a news story—in other words, normal communication.  However, it could also be the set-up to a joke.

If it’s just a piece of news, the listeners just process the information or make comments.

If it turns out to be a joke, American listeners will laugh.  Or they will groan.  Groaning is a cultural sign that the joke was a little bit funny, but they are pretending it was foolish or not very funny.

two television antennas (source: Fotolia)

My father liked to tell silly jokes, often ones that started out, “Did you hear about…?”

Here is one of my favorites.

Part 1: Did you hear about the two antennas that got married?

[short pause for listener reflection]

Part 2: The wedding wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

This joke is funny to native-born Americans because the word “reception” has a double meaning.  The first meaning of “reception” is when radio or TV equipment (with antennas) receive information.  The second meaning is the party that occurs after an American wedding.

You can practice by telling this joke to your American friends.  See if they laugh.  If they really like you, they will just groan or say, “That’s not funny.”  But it is funny.  Trust me.

Sometimes at an American wedding reception, the bride and groom will take the first dance by themselves.

Note: the celebration after the wedding ceremony is not called a “wedding party.”  The reception is where the guests go to receive the bride and groom as a newly married couple.  The wedding party refers to the group of participants that includes the bride, groom, maid of honor, best man, and any other bridesmaids and groomsmen. 

(Think of the word “party” in the sense of “group” – for example, when a restaurant host/hostess wants to find you the right table and asks you how many people are in your party.  When your table is ready, s/he will call you: “Johnson, party of four.”)

Auld Lang Syne? What’s That?

source: Fotolia.com

If you’ve celebrated New Year’s Eve with American friends, you’ve heard the melody and maybe even the partial lyrics of the Robert Burns’ poem “Auld Lang Syne.” But if you are a non-native speaker, you are probably wondering, “What does this mean?”

Well, you are not alone.  Most of your American friends don’t know either.

Because Robbie Burns was Scottish—and wrote these words over 200 years ago—it’s not easy for modern English speakers to understand.

Robert Burns (1759-96) source: Wikipedia

Literally, auld lang syne means “old long since.”  Some people like to translate it as “a long time ago” or “times gone by.”  A broader interpretation might be “the good old days.”

Because Scotland’s national poet was writing about remembering dear old friends, I think the last interpretation is a good one.

At New Year’s, people get sappy, nostalgic, and a little drunk as they celebrate with friends. Usually, they remember the title line of the song, they remember the melody, but few of them remember the other words. So, if you learn the lyrics to the first verse and chorus, you will be ahead of many of your American friends.

Here are all five verses for you to enjoy singing the next time you’re at an English-speaking New Year’s Eve party.

Auld Lang Syne

1. Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind?


Should old acquaintance be forgot, and auld lang syne?

CHORUS:
 For auld lang syne, my dear,
 for auld lang syne,


we’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
 for auld lang syne.


2. And surely you’ll buy your pint cup, 
and surely I’ll buy mine!


We’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet, 
for auld lang syne.

[Repeat CHORUS]


3. We two have run about the slopes,
 and picked the daisies fine,


But we’ve wandered many a weary foot, 
since auld lang syne.

[Repeat CHORUS]


4. We two have paddled in the stream, 
from morning sun till dine,

But seas between us broad have roared 
since auld lang syne.

[Repeat CHORUS]


5. And there’s a hand my trusty friend!
 And give us a hand o’ thine!


And we’ll take a right good-will draught, for auld lang syne.

[Repeat CHORUS]


British pint (source: Fotolia.com)

Vocabulary and Pronunciation Notes

auld … syne = pronounced “old” … “sign”

acquaintance = people you know (or knew)

brought to mind = thought of

cup o' kindness = glass of alcoholic beverage

British pint = 0.57 liter

American pint = 0.47 liter (16 cups = 8 pints = 4 quarts = 1 gallon)

weary = tired

till dine = till dinner time

Broad seas have roared between us = Large distances have come between us; we’ve lost touch over time.

a hand = handshake

trusty = reliable

o’ thine = of yours

right good-will draught = very friendly drink

draught = pronounced “draft”

Summer Jobs: An American Tradition

Did you have summer jobs when you were young?  Did you work part-time jobs when you were a student?

Jon Steinberg did.  Today, he is President of BuzzFeed, a global media company.  In a recent article, he wrote of his experiences as a part-time worker in many jobs during his youth.

Laying sod makes your hands and knees really black at day's end.

Steinberg’s final quote in the article struck me as typically American.  He said, “I can't wait for my young children to get summer and after-school jobs. And I hope these experiences will be as meaningful to them as they were to me.” 

Even though he is a high-level officer of a successful internet company, Steinberg still values his early-life lessons learned in the low-skilled workforce--so much so that he wants the same experiences for his children.  Was this true for you?

In my teens and early twenties, I had a number of jobs: maintenance work, busing and waiting tables, landscaping, bartending, and answering phones for a pizza company.  My parents thought this was good for their children to develop a work ethic, a sense of responsibility, and an understanding of money and budgets.  Many Americans feel the same way.

If you are an immigrant or expatriate in the United States, what were your own teenage experiences with part-time work or summer jobs?  Did your parents encourage it or forbid it?  In your home country, what are the cultural expectations of students in their teen years?  If you are a parent, do you encourage your children to get a part-time or summer job?

If you are a native-born American, what were your summer jobs, and what did they teach you?  Do you believe students should have part-time jobs today?  If you have children, do they work part time after school or on summer vacation?

In the spirit of Jon Steinberg, I'd like to share my own personal early work history here.

Rochester Dairy Queen

Age 12: Rochester (MI) Dairy Queen (owned by my aunt and uncle)

Wages: $.50/hour ($3.50 in 2013 dollars)

Work: washing windows and sweeping up litter in the parking lot

What I learned: Being kind and gracious to one's employees.  One very hot summer day, my uncle told me to come inside the building for a while to cool off.  “I’m not paying my workers to get heat stroke!” he joked.

Age 16: Rochester (MI) Dairy Queen (summer job)

Work: serving customers drinks, ice cream, hot dogs

What I learned: Egalitarianism: If there’s a hungry line of customers out the door, the only way to get everyone served is to have all hands on deck.  Even the boss has to roll up his/her sleeves and make banana splits sometimes.

Age 17: Rochester (MI) Elks Club (year-round, part-time job)

Work: busboy (clearing dirty dishes, wiping down tables, and re-setting them for new customers)

What I learned: 1) Waitresses work really hard for their money.  2) When a shift gets really busy, there is no such thing as “my section” vs. “your section.”  We’re all in this together.

Age 17: Avon Broach & Machine Co. (summer job)

Work: maintenance worker (doing odd jobs)

What I learned: 1) Outdoor labor is hard: When you’re hot-tar sealing a roof in July, the rooftop temperature is at least 10º hotter than the air temperature.  2) The power of a compliment: One day the boss told me, “I would be proud to call you Son.”  I will never forget those kind words.

I learned to operate a commercial grading tractor. (photo source: deere.com)

Age 18-21: Vidosh Brothers Landscaping Co. (while in college)

Wages: $2.25/hour ($9.75 in 2013 dollars)

Work: landscape worker (three summers), landscape foreman (one summer)

What I learned: How to operate large equipment, how to plan a day’s work for your crew, and how to take pride in a day’s hard work.

Age 24: Campus Inn (part-time job while in graduate school)

Work: waiter/bartender

What I learned: 1) I could never survive professionally in the fast-paced world of food service.  My service was friendly but not very efficient.  2) Be a better tipper, be more patient and understanding of overworked servers.

Age 24: Domino’s Pizza (part-time job while in graduate school)

Work: phone answerer

What I learned: 1) On the phone order slip, "GB" stands for ground beef, and "B" stands for bacon.  A kosher Jewish customer will not accept a pizza with "B," even if you suggest he just “pick it off.”  2) Meals are free when you work at a pizza company.  Free food is much appreciated if you’re a poor student. 

How to Read an American Obituary

Over the course of your time in the United States, someone will die.  Your neighbor, your neighbor’s relative, or maybe the relative of a co-worker.  What should you do?  What should you say?

I have written about American death and dying in the past: caring for a dying loved one, hospice vs. hospital, funerals, what to say, memorial service.  Today, I’d like to take a closer look at the obituary, or death notice, which will appear in the newspaper.  This will give you much valuable information about the person you knew or about his/her loved one.

The following death notice appeared in my hometown newspaper this week.  It was emailed to me by my sister who still lives in the area.  The man who died was the father of our high school classmates.

GRIFFIS, DR. ROBERT C.;(1) of Rochester Hills;(2) passed away on Thursday, November 7, 2013.(3) Loving husband for over 64 years to Doris;(4) dearest father of Carl (Etta), Edward, Robert (Barbara), Thomas (Mimi), and Patty;(5) proud grandfather of six grandchildren.(6) Robert also leaves behind his dear cat, Kacey.(7) Robert served his country in the Navy during W.W.II.(8) He graduated from Case Western Reserve with a Doctorate in Chemistry(9) going on to work for General Electric and Ford Motor Company.(10) Robert volunteered for over 20 years making harnesses at Leader Dogs for the Blind of Rochester, MI.(11) Visitation will be Tuesday, November 12, 2013 from 1 p.m.(12) until the time of service at 3 p.m.(13) at Pixley Funeral Home, 322 W. University Dr., Rochester, MI 48307.(14) In lieu of flowers, please send memorial donations to Leader Dogs for the Blind, P.O. Box 5000 Rochester MI 48308.(15) Please visit www.pixleyfuneral.com.(16)  (Published in The Oakland Press on Nov. 10, 2013)

From this obituary, you will know the following information.

1.  the name of the deceased person (last name, title is optional, first name and middle initial)

2.  the city of residence at this person’s death

3.  the date of death

4.  the name of the widow (length of marriage is optional)

5.  names of children (with spouses of those children in parentheses)

6.  number of grandchildren (names are optional)

7.  name of beloved special friends (note: many Americans consider pets as members of family, but his is unusual in an obituary)

8.  status as a veteran of foreign wars (VFW)

9.  educational status

10.  career employment

11.  community service (notes: a. many Americans volunteer in their spare time, b. this is the second mention of a special commitment to animals)

12.  the (2-hour) time period you can visit with the family members (note: this is often the afternoon/evening before the funeral)

13.  the time of the funeral service

14.  the location of the funeral service

15.  the charity you may make a donation to in the name of the deceased person (note: Americans sometimes tell you to save money on flowers by sending it to their favorite charity instead; you may do one or both, according to your wishes)

16.  the website of the funeral home (note: nowadays, you can write a kind note about how you knew the deceased person; it is a kind thing to send the family a personal note or card in the mail.)

Death and dying are very tricky issues in every culture.  If you have questions about a recent death in the United States, please share them with us here. 

Knowing Your Neighbors: The Language and Culture of the People Around You

Culture and Practicality

Americans believe it’s a good idea to know the people who live on our street. When we start meeting our neighbors, they will wave at us when we go out to walk the dog, mow the lawn, or fetch the mail. 

It’s helpful to know these people in case we get locked outside the house one cold day.  Maybe our car will need a jump start.  Or perhaps we’ll want to borrow a tool to finish a home project. 

If we are stuck in the snow, they will stop to push us out.  If their kids are selling Girl Scout cookies door to door, we will buy an extra box because we know (and like) them.

The poet John Donne once said, “No man is an island.”  We live in society to meet and help one another.  If you don’t like people, maybe you should live on a farm.  Or a mountaintop.

Identifying your neighbors

How do you describe people’s houses in relation to yours?  Take the diagram below for example.  You live in the house labeled “YOU.”  How do you describe neighbors A-D?  How about neighbors V-Z?

 

The people in Houses B and C live next door to you.  They are your next-door neighbors.

The people in Houses A and D live two doors down from you.  They are your neighbors two doors down.  (You can also say “two houses down.”)

The people in House X live across the street from you.  They are your neighbors across the street.

The people in Houses W and Y live kitty-corner* across from you.  They are your neighbors kitty-corner across the street.

The people in Houses V and Z live across the street and two doors down.  They are your neighbors across and two doors down.

* In Michigan, most people say kitty-corner.  Elsewhere people say catty-corner or cater-corner.  The earlier English expression was cater-cornered.  Cater was an anglicization from the French quatre, meaning “four.”  This expression was handy describing four houses which are diagonally across a street (or intersection) from each other.

So, what about the people who live behind your house, the people who live on the next street?  How do you identify neighbors J-N?

The people in House L live behind you.  They are your back-door neighbors or the neighbors behind you.

The people in Houses K and M live kitty-corner behind you.  They are your neighbors kitty-corner behind you. 

You may not have a chance to know the people in Houses J and N, so don’t worry about describing them—unless they are axe murderers.  In that case, you should describe them as people from your former neighborhood.

Do you have other questions about neighbors?  This is a safe place to ask.

What the Heck Is an Applied Linguist?

What the Heck Is an Applied Linguist?

Telling people at parties that I’m an applied linguist usually gets one of three responses:

1.  a glazed-over facial expression

2.  “Uh…, excuse me, I think I’ll go refill this punch glass.”

3.   “So, how many languages do you speak?”

In the case of answers 1 and 2, it’s probably time for me to make my own trip over to the hors d’oeuvre table. 

Response #3 is actually a common misconception that linguists are polyglots (speakers of numerous languages).  If I’m feeling jovial, I sometimes answer “26”...and then wait for a reply.  Because I’m a teacher at heart, I usually answer more earnestly: While most applied linguists have studied foreign languages out of a general interest in communication, we are not necessarily mega-language learners.

In my own case, I have studied a dozen languages—anywhere from a few months (prepping for a business trip to Prague) to many years (undergrad major in German).  This doesn’t make me Google Language Translator.  Nor do I seek to be.

An applied linguist looks to use integrated skills, akin to a family doctor.  Your general physician is someone who is committed to a general field (medicine), but he/she has studied broadly enough (nutrition, pediatrics, cardiovascular health, obstetrics, internal medicine, etc.) to give practical guidance to a patient whose body is comprised of all these interlocking systems.

The applied linguist has typically studied phonetics (how language sounds are made), phonology (how sounds fit together as a system), morphology (the meaningful bits that make up meaningful sentences), syntax (how parts of sentences fit together), sociolinguistics (how language use is affected by society), psycholinguistics (how language is learned), historical linguistics (how language changes over time), and sometimes cultural anthropology (to know how different rules affect a speaker’s behavior). 

Because the applied linguist has this overview of how language works as a system, he or she can apply that knowledge in specific real-life situations.  Here are examples from four different fields.

In airline safety: One person specializes in listening to cockpit recordings from airline crashes to determine what aspects were due to communication failure.   This is done with an eye to improving cockpit communication and airline safety.

In medicine: A colleague of mine, with graduate degrees in English and communication, has years working at a large hospital.  She coaches foreign-born physicians how to communicate with American patients in order to maximize patient understanding, compliance, and ultimately patient health.

In the law: This same colleague prepares foreign medical graduates for deposition and trial in malpractice lawsuits.  With her skills, she helps these physicians communicate their knowledge clearly, unemotionally, and in layman’s terms, so that jury members (everyday people) can understand a very technical story.

In industry: In my own work, I coach non-native professionals to fit into the American workplace, be productive, and feel at home.  On the cultural side, this involves coaching on community volunteerism, local sports traditions, and questions to ask (or avoid) around the water cooler.  On the language side, it includes pronunciation coaching so that presentations are clear and unambiguous.  It may also include coaching in the diplomatic language of criticism, rejection, reprimand, or postponement.

Want specifics?  Let me give you a huge global example and three local examples:

International P.R. blunder: After the 2006 BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, Swedish-born chairman Carl-Henric Svanberg stuck his foot in his mouth when he said BP was looking out for the “small people.” As a non-native speaker, he had incorrectly remembered the expression “little guy” (meaning an everyday person) but implied that the coastal residents were inconsequential.  Here are the details.

Local example 1: A Japanese engineer put up a flyer on an announcement board, listing a cottage for sale.  He added a post-it note saying, “On Sale.”  What he meant was “For Sale.”  Imagine his surprise when potential buyers approached him expecting a price reduction!

Local example 2: When meeting with a Chinese PhD one day, I noticed that he had a weak handshake.  Upon leave-taking, I felt his handshake again and was able to privately coach him about the importance of a strong U.S. handshake, something that connotes sincerity, intentionality, and strong character to Americans.

Local example 3: A Brazilian manager sent out an email to a subordinate with the opening line, “Let me give you some feedback.”  The poor employee was undoubtedly nervous throughout the reading of the email, waiting for some criticism to follow.  In fact, there was no criticism; the author had meant to say, “Let me give you an update.”  Now that he knows the difference, this non-native won’t make future correspondents nervous by using language that warns of impending bad news.

Language is a tricky boat to sail, but having the right navigation tools can make the seas a lot smoother.  Please share your examples of how coaching was able to avert disaster—or maybe stories of how disaster occurred in its absence.

Learning the Ropes

Learning the Ropes: Distinguishing the Long, Thin, Flexible Objects in Our Lives

A Japanese student recently told me about her children’s Sports Day at their school.  The kids were practicing for foot races and other events, but the mom couldn’t think of the word for the long thing that gets pulled in the tug-of-war event.

The long, thick object that teams (in some cultures) pull as a group is called a rope.  (Tug means “pull.”)  It’s stronger than a string but not as heavy as a cable.  It turns out that tug-of-war is not common in Japan; her children attend an international school, so perhaps it was introduced by one of the Anglo teachers.

A rope in a children’s tug-of-war competition.

There are many long, thin items that we use in our everyday lives.  Can you match the following items with their pictures below?

1.     rope            ______

2.     thread         ______

3.     twine           ______

4.     yarn             ______

5.     string           ______

6.     ribbon          ______

a. 

b. 

c.

d.

e.

f.

The answers are given at the bottom.  You get bonus points if you can name a common application for each of these.

* Vocabulary note: The expression “teach someone the ropes” means to show someone how to do a new task or job.  It comes from sailor vocabulary where the new sailors had to be shown which ropes to use when setting the right sails on the ship.  (Note: In the headline above, I am using this expression with a double meaning--since this post is really about ropes.)  Example of how to use this expression: “Maria, Bob is new in our department.  Can you show him the ropes his first week on the job?” 

ANSWERS:  1. rope - e, 2. thread - f, 3. twine - c, 4. yarn - a, 5. string - d, 6. ribbon – b

APPLICATIONS:  1. rope: to tie down something heavy, to use for tug-of-war, to pull heavy objects (It is usually saved for re-use.)

2. thread: to sew or repair clothing (This requires using a sewing machine or sewing needle.)

3. twine: to temporarily tie down items—usually outside—for example, driving a Christmas tree home on the roof of your car.  In the U.S., it is usually thrown away after use.  (In Japan, it’s used to hold up vegetable plants in one’s garden.)

4. yarn: to knit sweaters, mittens, or afghans (This requires using long knitting needles.)

5. string: to temporarily tie items together (usually inside).  In the U.S., it is usually thrown away after use.

6. ribbon: to decorate presents, to attach to party balloons.  In the U.S., it is usually thrown away after use.

Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda

We all have regrets.  Sometimes events don't work out as we wanted them to. When we look back on our failures, we ask, "How could I have made this better?  What should I have done differently?  What would have improved the outcome?"

When we want to change something that is too late to change, we are creating an unreal situation.  For this, we have to use hypothetical grammar.

Note in the above sentences, I wrote "could have, should have, would have."  In fast speech, Americans shorten these verb phrases to "coulda, shoulda, woulda."  If you don't believe me, start listening to your native-born co-workers.  They don't say "could...have, should...have" in natural speech.  That would sound slow and robotic.  Slow speech like that is reserved for emphasis, maybe to express anger or impatience.

In order to not sound angry or impatient, you need to learn to combine certain words together.  This week, I recommend you start with verb phrases. In addition to the three above, you can try these:      might have (gone) ---> mighta (gone)      must have (been) ---> musta (been)

The headline of a recent article in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune is "Shoulda, coulda, woulda for Vikings after loss to Bears." After losing in the final seconds of their football game, Minnesota Vikings coach Leslie Frazier "wishes he had managed the situation better."  Notice the grammar of a regrettable (but unchangeable) event?

"Ohhh! I shoulda sent those files yesterday!"

With this headline, the sports reporter emphasizes that whatever could have been done (should have been done, would have been done) is too late.  It sounds like making excuses for poor performance yet one more time.  Therefore, "Coulda, shoulda, woulda" is a way of telling others that excuses are not acceptable; they are responsible for the results.

Ask your American friends or co-workers when they might use "Coulda, shoulda, woulda" in a conversation. And stay tuned for more pronunciation tips to come!

Spelling note:Coulda, woulda, shoulda is mostly for speaking.  An acceptable way to write these words in email is could've, should've, would've.  If you are writing a business letter or technical report, spell them out fully: could have, should have, would have.

Images via fotolia.com

Don’t Sweat It!

"Don’t sweat it!" What does that mean? This expression recently showed up in an article about how to attend your company's picnic.  The writer's advice: don't sweat the details and have a good time.

“Sweat” is an informal word for perspiration—when water comes out of your skin.  This can come from hard work or exercise.  Or it can come from nervousness.

If you are nervous, your American friends may tell you, “Don’t sweat it.”  If they say this, they mean, “Don’t worry; everything will be fine.”  (Note: this is an informal expression that would be too casual to use with your boss, customers, or strangers.)

Supermarket display in the personal care section

(photo: A. Headbloom)

This display for men’s antiperspirant uses the word “sweat” in a double meaning.  The company believes its product will reduce how much you perspire.  And they don’t want you to worry about it.

Ask your American friends for examples of when they would say, "Don't sweat it."

(photo: fotolia.com)

New Vocabulary and Pronunciationsweat = informal for perspiration [rhymes with "wet"] deodorant = a scent applied to the underarms (and sometimes elsewhere) to cover the odor of bacteria that naturally form in moist places anti-perspirant = personal hygiene material applied to the underarm to block pores from perspiring (and therefore reduce underarm moisture); may be scented or unscented Don't sweat the small stuff. = Don't worry about little things; keep focused on big-picture, high-priority issues. (A book with this title was published many years ago.)

(source: fotolia.com)

Cultural Note The American belief in privacy goes beyond individual space and property. U.S. Americans also prefer that others keep sounds and smells to themselves.  Don't let your music invade my space, that is, turn down your radio!  And control your emissions of odors, that is, I don't want to take in your human smells!  This includes bad breath, body odor (also called "B.O.") from the underarms, foot odor, and others. Note how much shelf space is given to personal hygiene products in American supermarkets and pharmacies. 

If you don't shower daily and use masking scents, powders, or sprays, your co-workers may complain about you to the human resources officer, creating an awkward conversation for both of you.  Bottom line: if you work with Americans, I recommend you adapt your hygiene habits, unless you want to eat alone in the cafeteria!

Cheeseburger in Paradise

photo source: D. Suzuki

What do Hawaiian shirts and palm trees have to do with cheeseburgers? A student of mine recently asked me this question after attending the Cheeseburger Festival in Caseville, Michigan. While he and his wife enjoyed the tasty cheeseburgers, they couldn't help but wonder about the connection.

The cultural answer is simple: Jimmy Buffet!

Who is Jimmy Buffet, you ask?  He is a multi-generational inspiration for Americans who like easy-listening music and the laid-back lifestyle.  With a tropical theme, he and his Coral Reefer Band sing about beaches, rum drinks, love, and life.  Their devoted fans attend his concerts wearing Hawaiian shirts, sunglasses, and tropical hats--some of them decorated with parrots. For this reason, his fans are often called Parrotheads.

The song, Cheeseburger in Paradise, has inspired a restaurant chain by that name.  You can read the lyrics below while listening to the song.  If you're not in a tropical climate, turn on your sun lamp, pour a margarita, and click on the link to the song. (Difficult words* are explained below.)

Cheeseburger In Paradise by Jimmy Buffet

Tried to amend* my carnivorous* habits. Made it* nearly seventy days, Losin' weight without speed,* eatin' sunflower seeds, Drinkin' lots of carrot juice, and soakin' up rays.* But at night I'd have these wonderful dreams Some kind of sensuous* treat. Not zucchini, fettuccini, or bulgur wheat,* But a big warm bun and a huge hunk* of meat.

Cheeseburger in paradise. Heaven on earth with an onion slice. Not too particular, not too precise. I'm just a cheeseburger in paradise.

Heard about the old time sailor men, They eat the same thing again and again; Warm beer and bread they say could raise the dead.* Well, it reminds me of the menu at a Holiday Inn. But times have changed for sailors these days. When I'm in port* I get what I need. Not just Havanas* or bananas or daiquiris,* But that American creation on which I feed!

Cheeseburger in paradise. Medium rare* with Muenster'd* be nice. Not too particular, not too precise, I'm just a cheeseburger in paradise.

A margarita is another tropical drink that Jimmy Buffet sings about.

I like mine with lettuce and tomato, Heinz 57,* and french fried potatoes, Big kosher pickle,* and a cold draught beer.* Well, good god Almighty,* which way do I steer* For a cheeseburger in paradise? Makin' the best of every virtue and vice.* Worth every damn* bit of sacrifice To get a cheeseburger in paradise, To be a cheeseburger in paradise. I'm just a cheeseburger in paradise.

photo: cheeseburgerinparadise.com

NEW EXPRESSIONS TO LEARN

amend = change

carnivorous = meat-eating

made it = lived, survived

speed = illegal energy drug

soaking up rays = getting a sun tan

sensuous = feeling good, a little sexy

zucchini, fettuccini, bulgur wheat = healthy foods

hunk = big piece [too much red meat is unhealthy]

could raise the dead = [it was so terrible that it could] bring dead people back alive

in port = in dock, in the harbor (not on the sea)

Havanas = Cuban cigars

daiquiri = a sweet/sour rum beverage

medium rare = meat cooked outside but red inside

Muenster'd = Muenster cheese would (be nice)

Heinz 57 = an American ketchup brand

kosher pickle = dill pickle made with garlic and salt

draught beer = poured from the tap [pronounced “draft”]

steer = go, direct myself

virtue and vice = good quality and bad quality

damn = darn [strong word used for emphasis]

Showing off their new cheeseburger hats in the paradise town of Caseville, Michigan (photo: D. Suzuki)

Just "Your" Typical Worker?

"Your"? Does that belong to ME? In an article for Inc. Magazine, Steve Tobak was writing about personal styles in the workplace and used the following sentence:

Melissa's your average, everyday worker.

Non-native readers may be asking, "Why 'your'? She doesn't belong to me!"

In fact, Tobak would have been perfectly fine to write about "a" typical worker. But he didn't.  Why not? This is actually a common way of speaking in American English.

The following is an explanation taken from a clever colleague, journalist Lisa McLendon:

Who, me?

This is a casual expression. Even though it's fine to say "an" average worker, the word "your" indicates a less-formal sentence. It translates as "what you would consider an average, everyday worker" (where "you" means "one" or "a person in general"). This would be found more in speech than writing. In professional writing, it would be "an."

An example: In a news story about a new restaurant, the owner tells the reporter, "We didn't want to be your typical sports bar." If the reporter uses the quote directly, there is no change.  However, if the reporter paraphrases the owner, the article would say, "The owner said he didn't want Bases to be a typical sports bar."

An equally clever colleague, linguist Matthew Kushinka pointed out that "your" in such expressions is always paired with ordinary words: usual, average, typical, run-of-the-mill, regular, basic. • They're nothing special, just your basic printing company. • You didn't miss anything.  It was your typical weekly staff meeting. • You'll like working with Teresa.  She's not your run-of-the-mill intern. In such expressions, "your" is never paired with extraordinary adjectives.  You never see "He's (not) your fantastic employee."

Today's tip for second-language speakers: If you hear "your," it may not be all about you!

image: Fotolia.com

Cultural footnote: The now-discontinued line of GM cars, the Oldsmobile, tried to revive its image as a boring, conservative car by coming up with a new marketing line: "This is not your father's Oldsmobile." General Motors wanted to say, "This is not a typical old person's car."  The advertising backfired, and now this line of GM cars is extinct.

Ethnic Identity in the U.S.: One Asian-American Girl's Story

I See Me the Way I Believe You See Me by B. Joanna Chen

We’re walking home from school together, Colin and I. We’re both skipping—that’s how excited we are about having a half-day. Suddenly Colin stops and turns to me, a quizzical expression on his face.

I’m seven, self-conscious and contentious. “What?”

Colin hesitates, then blurts out, “Where were you born?”

I roll my eyes and cross my arms. Even as a second grader, I’ve already been asked this question countless times. I have the dialogue that will ensue down to a convenient routine of monosyllables and terse replies.

Colin grows impatient for an answer. “China?” he suggests.

“Nope.”

“Japan?”

“Nope.”

“Korea?”

“Nope.”

Colin is at a loss.

I roll my eyes again. “I was born here, stupid. Grand Rapids, Michigan. Butterworth Hospital.”

“What about your parents?”

“What about them?”

“They weren’t born here.” Colin is stating the obvious. He’s met my parents, heard their accented English.

“My parents are from Taiwan. My grandparents are from China.”

“Oh.” Colin is silent for a moment. This is when our dialogue deviates from all the ones before. “Your eyes though,” he says. “They’re funny.”

Chen siblings: Chris, Francis, Joanna

I bite my lip, cross and re-cross my arms. “What do you mean?”

“They’re...they’re really little.” Colin lifts his fingers to his face and uses them to pull the corners of his blue eyes until they are slanted slits.

For some reason, I feel like crying. I feel like punching his slit-eyed face. I feel like saying something mean, something biting, something that will make the lump in my throat and the fullness in my chest and the uncomfortable squirming in my stomach go away. But instead I stick out my tongue, blow the most violent raspberry I can muster, and run the rest of the way home.

It was the sociologist Charles Horton Cooley who conceived the “looking-glass self” concept: I see me the way I believe you see me. That could have been the mantra of my middle school and early high school years. Mike would glance at my paper as the teacher handed it back to me. “You’re such an Asian,” he’d say upon seeing my score. “You mean Asian-fail,” Katherine corrected me when I expressed nervousness over a test. I began to feel awkward around the kids at school. My jacket was zipped too high, my glasses were painfully round, and the words I used were too big: “Can you repeat that in English, please?”

Because I believed that all my classmates saw when they were around me was the awkward Asian girl with the excessive vocabulary, I began to be hyper-aware of silences after I finished a rambling story. I stopped raising my hand so much in class. I became an expert at the furtive grade glance when papers were handed back.

Somewhere along the line, between elementary and middle school, I’d come to identify myself solely by race, rather than by ethnicity or by race and ethnicity. I was Chinese, sure. I spoke Mandarin Chinese—or Chinglish, as I referred to it—at home. But all the forms I filled out only had the applicable option of Asian American, and in addition to its pleasing alliteration, “Asian” sounded so much more general—noncommittal—non-confining.

My mother was puzzled at this change in self-categorization. She still referred to us as “Oriental.” One day, when she, my brother, and I were in the car together, I corrected her.

“You mean ‘Asian,’” I said.

“What’s wrong with ‘Oriental’?” she asked.

“‘Oriental’ is for rugs,” my brother said.

I eventually came to terms with the Asian stereotype, even embraced it. It was my goal, after all, to gain admittance into a prestigious school, to follow the heavy Harvard and Duke footsteps of my older brothers. I liked learning. I liked being advanced and excelled and reading “Joanna is a fine student” on my report cards. And what was wrong with fitting in with a prototype of intelligence? “I’m going to fail this test,” I’d say. Then amend, “Asian-fail, but still.”

Joanna Chen's youth soccer team, White Thunder

It wasn’t as if I was always looking around at my homogeneously Dutch-heritage peers with a soundtrack in my mind playing, “They’re white, I’m not…they’re white, I’m not…” There were—and there are now—times when I forgot that I was racially deviant from the Caucasian majority. This especially occurred in history class when we’d discuss slavery. Even though my ancestors weren’t born here, I was accustomed to using “we” when referring to actions the United States had taken in the past; it was just easier that way on essays: “We decided we didn’t want to be a part of England anymore,” “Our country has a history of political dividedness,” “We wanted to free the slaves.” In addition, I leaned toward identification with the white side of history; after all, my ancestors hadn’t been slaves, and the textbooks we read in class didn’t even mention Chinese people—if at all—until it covered the late nineteenth and early twentieth century history of America.

I felt concerned and confused when I found myself talking from a white perspective. Did this mean that I thought that I was white? I was surrounded by white kids, but I wasn’t one. I was different. Was I different?

However, reading a passage from Lawrence D. Bobo’s essay, “Laissez-Faire Racism, Racial Inequality, and the Role of the Social Sciences,” made me reconsider my self-analysis. He writes, “…we are evolving as a nation toward a new major racial dichotomy: the black versus the non-black…whites and those effectively earning the title of honorary whites, such as successful middle-class Asians.”

My gut reaction was one of resentment. Honorary white? It is obvious from reading the other parts of Bobo’s essay that he doesn’t consider white a race worthy of special treatment or a race that should be strived towards by other races, but the phrase still offended me. I can check that box on forms that says Asian, but when it comes to defining race, you have your blacks, you have your whites, and you have your honorary whites. It made me rethink all those years sitting in school feeling guilty over “forgetting” my race, my heritage. 

It made me think that perhaps I reverted to saying “we” because that’s how our discussions on race in this country are most often framed: pick a side, black or white. Other races are forced to find somewhere fitting to fit in on the race spectrum. And naturally, many racial minorities looking to achieve the American dream instinctually identify with and gravitate toward the end of the spectrum with better social and socioeconomic positioning.

Scientists have established that race is not biologically real. Genetically, humans are the most similar among all species. As the experiment the high school students performed in the documentary “Race: the Power of an Illusion” illustrated, we are just as likely to share as many genes with someone from a different race as with someone from our own race. But it’s hard to ignore that Suzanna’s dark skin is shades different from Sarah’s pale pigmentation.

As sociologists W.I. Thomas & Dorothy Thomas pointed out, “If [people] define situations as real, they are real in their consequences.” When people believe that something is real, they act on that belief. So while race is imaginary biologically, it is still given a lot of reality in our actions; that is the reality of race in America today.

source: iStockphoto.com

The reality is that walking home, filled with the excitement of freedom from school, a young white boy will still turn to a young Asian girl and will, in that frank young-boy way, point out their differences. The reality is that even after that young Asian girl has grown into a young Asian adult, she will remember that childhood incident and still feel a phantom lump in her throat, a phantom fullness in her chest, a phantom squirming in her stomach. And it will make her wonder, over eleven years after she stuck out her tongue and stamped away, where she fits in in the scheme of race in the country she calls her own.

B. Joanna Chen grew up in West Michigan, a historically non-diverse farming region known for heavy Dutch immigration. The last two generations have seen a decided uptick in immigration from Asia, Africa, and Latin America, because of either refugee resettlement or migrant agricultural labor. Joanna is currently enrolled at Cornell University. She wrote this piece in the fall of 2010.

The author today

What is an Interculturalist?

"I want to be an astronaut!" "Me a ballerina!"

"I'm gonna be a ... [teacher, doctor, firefighter, cowboy, police officer...] when I grow up!"

Children fill in the blank with many high-visibility occupations.

As students graduate from school, they take on more nuanced and varied career goals: accounting, nursing, paralegal, sales, human resources, marketing, research, management, engineering.

Still, none of these youngsters grows up wanting to work in cross-cultural communication.  By definition, you have to go beyond your comfort zone, outside your realm of experience, and into places strange and unfamiliar in order to catch the intercultural bug.

Interculturalists: Finding your home among the world's nomads

So, how does one answer the ubiquitous cocktail-party question, "What is it that you do?"

My colleague Christian Höferle came up with this wonderful, illustrated way of talking about the work of interculturalists.

The questions interculturalists often hear:

Q: Do you have to speak dozens of languages to work with international companies?

A: No, but it helps to have learned one or two foreign languages in your lifetime. It makes you more empathetic to border-crossing businesspeople who are trading in tongues not their own.  It also makes you more flexible in how you approach problems and explain nuances.

Q: Do you have to have lived overseas to work in this field?

A: No, but the more experience you have abroad, the better equipped you are to emphasize with the frustrations of dealing with behaviors that weren't the norm in one's childhood. Life and travel overseas gives you great stories to share with your clients. Everyone relates to stories, and if you can tell a few on yourself, you will have more respect. And more humility.

Q: Do you have to memorize the etiquette and rules of all the world's cultures?

A: No, this would be impossible. However, the more cultures you have contact with, the more variations you will be aware of, the less rigid you will be, and the more open you will be to seeking out alternative solutions.

What have you learned working across cultures? Please share your stories so that others can benefit from your hard-earned learning.

Interculturalist Christian Höferle is a German native who lives and works in Cleveland, Tennessee (USA). He helps German and American businesspeople work together with less friction and more profitability. His intercultural blog is called Southeast Schnitzel.

New Talk Show Coming Soon!

What's the Difference between an Expression, an Idiom, and a Saying?

Last week, I shared with my students an explanation of the expression, “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.”  It gives the advice to choose a guaranteed (or certain) opportunity, rather than wait for a bigger opportunity which may or may not come. I learned later that the expression in Polish is “A sparrow in the hand is worth a canary on the roof.”  In Flemish, people say, “One bird in the hand is worth ten in the air.”  It's great to see commonality in the expressions of wisdom across the globe! My explanation about the birds made a colleague ask about the difference between a saying and an expression.  Technically, she is right to ask.  Generally, an expression is any group of words commonly used together.  A single word is just called a (vocabulary) word. While there are many, many expressions in English, we can think of them as three distinct categories: expressions, idioms, and sayings.

source: Flickr

1. An expression is a general cluster of words like "don't know which end is up."  This means to be disoriented or confused.  Example: My cousin Julie is so busy, she doesn’t know which end is up.

2. An idiom is a colorful expression like "raining cats and dogs" (which means raining very hard).  Another idiom is "doing something by the seat of your pants" (which means doing something as you go along, without prior plan).  Example: This process is new for everyone on the team; we’re doing it by the seat of our pants this first time.  The meanings of these idioms have nothing to do with pants or house pets, but they give us interesting ways to express ourselves.

3. A saying (also called a proverb, maxim, or adage) is a piece of wisdom from one’s culture.  Our earlier example (a bird in the hand) is a piece of advice for people trying to choose between two options.  From Chinese culture, I have always liked the proverb, “A journey of 1000 miles begins with the first step.”  This advises us to not be afraid of big undertakings.

How would you categorize the following expressions: saying, idiom, or general expression?

1. What!?  Bob is the new district manager!?  Are you pulling my leg? 2. A stitch in time saves nine. 3. My teacher friends are burned out at the end of the school year. 4. I never watch NASCAR racing, but my neighbor loves it.  To each his own, I guess. 5. Julio is new in the department, so Monica is taking time to show him the ropes. 6. Never judge a book by its cover. 7. The presentation was so amazing that it knocked our socks off. 8. Our group came up with some great new ideas. 9. The early bird catches the worm. 10. My officemate is just nuts about the Detroit Tigers.

ANSWERS

Sayings: 2. A stitch in time saves nine.  (If you take care of maintenance issues early, you avoid big problems later.) 6. Never judge a book by its cover.  (A person or thing may have qualities that you cannot see on the surface.) 9. The early bird catches the worm.  (If you show up late, the opportunity may be gone.)

Idioms: 1. to pull someone’s leg (to kid or tease someone, to make up information) 5. to show someone the ropes (to give someone orientation training) 7. to knock our socks off (to impress us)

Expressions: 3. to be burned out (to have no more energy left) 4. to each his own (Every person has different tastes and preferences.) 8. to come up with (to create or think up something new) 10. to be nuts about (to be enthusiastic about or in love with)

Many people are familiar with the Golden Rule.  This is a proverb (saying) that advises us to “Treat others as we would have them treat us.”  Recently, I learned an interculturally improved variation called the Platinum Rule: “Treat others as they would like to be treated.”

Do you have a favorite saying or proverb?

Prima Donnas, Jerks, and Other Bad Apples at the Office

In a recent article called "Why it's so Hard to Deal With Office Jerks,"Stephen Balzac talks about why we tolerate bad behavior among our co-workers, even when they are really unpleasant people. His final suggestion is to fire these "bad apples" before they destroy the whole office. From the analogy with rotting fruit, Balzac is referring to an old saying in English: One bad apple can spoil the whole barrel.

Balzac gives good reasons for getting rid of such poisonous workers, even though they are often the most productive workers on the team.  His business advice is sound, but a big attraction is his use of many terrific slang expressions for the office.  Below are explanations of the tricky vocabulary he uses.  After reading the list, check out the article via the link above.

Sometimes the really productive workers are the biggest jerks.

I have highlighted the top ten most useful expressions for you to know.

Vocabulary and Cultural Concepts

palpable = able to be felt

sidelong glances = short looks to the side

set Jim off = made Jim angry

set Jim off he did = This word order is for emphasis. It means: Making Jim angry is what he did.

laced into = attacked, strongly criticized

in no uncertain terms = very clearly, without any doubt

top player = best performer

cut him some slack = be flexible with him, don’t monitor him so tightly

lest = so it won’t happen that

not go there = avoid it, don’t talk about that topic

drag on = continue for too long

get on with = get along with, have a good relationship with

bad apples = people with rotten personalities (like spoiled fruit)

No one approached... = Nobody was even close to (his level).

egregious = horrible, offensive, obviously bad

contagious = spreading, infectious

bite back = criticize in return, attack back

pick on = criticize, be unkind to

edgy = nervous, on edge, uncomfortable

irritable = grumpy, in a bad mood

jerk = person with bad or rude behavior

spiral = increase, continue going

pretty much everyone = almost everyone

thrive = grow, prosper, succeed

After all, = Here’s a logical reason for this.

take = tolerate

obnoxiousness = being really unpleasant or rude

or whatever = or other bad traits

ambiance = atmosphere, environment

take his pick = have a choice of whatever he wants

all the while = the whole time, during

disengage = disconnect, retreat, pull away

mushy = soft, (about fruit/vegetables) over-ripe

this apple is pretty mushy = this guy is pretty bad (We expect apples to be crisp, not soft.)

skyrocket = to increase dramatically, to shoot upward

refrains I often hear = repeated stories that I often hear

inevitable = unavoidable, inescapable, destined to happen

What took you so long? = Why didn’t you do this sooner?

Stephen Balzac is a writer on leadership and organizational development. Contact him at  steve@7stepsahead.com.

Boston Marathon Bombing: Two Dozen Vocabulary and Cultural Concepts

As the world follows the developing news of the police hunt for the men who triggered two bombs at Monday’s Boston Marathon, a number of expressions have been used in the media.  This list is meant to help you understand the breaking reports.

1. IED (improvised explosive device) = home-made bomb used in other ways than traditional military applications

pressure cooker (source: beprepared.com)

2. shrapnel = pieces of metal which fly out from an explosion

3. pressure cooker = a metal pot that seals completely shut and cooks food by pressure heat

4. amputation = cutting off a body part (usually an arm or leg)

5. tourniquet = a cloth or other material used to temporarily stop blood flow of an injury and prevent blood loss

6. a suspect = someone the police believe took part in a crime

7. a person of interest = a person the police want to talk to about a crime (not necessarily a suspect)

8. police hotline = a direct, toll-free number to call to give information to the police (in this case, the number was 800-CALL-FBI)

9. Chechnya = southwestern region of Russia populated by 1 million ethnic Chechen people who are culturally Muslim and seeking to separate from Russia

10. Kyrgyzstan = former state of the USSR in central Asia, west of China and south of Kazakhstan (where the two suspects were born)

11. radicalized = made radical; influenced to have extreme political or religious beliefs

Boston, Massachusetts (source: Wikipedia)

12. sleeper cell = a non-active unit of  a secret organization, waiting to be called into action by remote leadership

13. lone wolves = people acting on their own, without connection to a wider organization

14. SWAT (special weapons and tactics) team = law enforcement unit using light military-style weapons and specialized tactics

15. K-9 unit = a police unit that uses dogs for their attack skills and their smelling skills.  The name “canine” (the scientific Latin word for “dog”) is pronounced K-9.

16. a booby trap = bomb which is wired to explode when someone enters the space

17. a trip wire = a wire which causes a bomb to explode when it is (unknowingly) pulled

18. a man-hunt = when police are actively searching for someone

Boston skyline (source: Wikipedia)

19. a car-jacking = taking over a vehicle by force (sometimes taking the driver along)

20. to bail out = to leave suddenly, to abandon

21. a shoot-out = a gun fight

22. on lock-down = a situation where police restrict movement of citizens for their own safety

23. to shelter in place = to stay where you are, to not go out because of safety concerns

24. to evacuate = to remove people from a dangerous area

Overcoming Expat Isolation In the U.S.: Ten Ideas For Fitting In

Source: fotolia.com

As an immigrant, expatriate, or refugee newly landed in the United States, you face a number of obstacles.  Americans may not look like you, dress like you, or talk like you.  How can you fit in when you seemingly have so many differences working against you? The simple answer is that you need to jump in!  The world around you is full of opportunities for getting involved, meeting Americans, and becoming a full member of your new community.* In a recent article for international students, Tra Ho from Vietnam talked about how new students needed to change their mindsets in order to make the transition from outsider to insider at American colleges.  Among her ideas, she talked about making new friends and pursuing activities you like.

The following list comes from years of working with and listening to immigrants and expats as they sought to make the U.S. their home.  The links below just scratch the surface of all the possibilities, but I hope they inspire you to begin connecting today.

Sometimes it’s all about you!  Here are some ways you can nurture yourself and make friends in the process.

Photo source: Grand Rapids Running Club

1. Hobby groups: There are thousands of groups organized around interests.  When I lived in mid-Michigan, one of my clients belonged to the local orchid society.  They held meetings and put on an annual swap/sale for other enthusiasts to come buy or exchange these special flowers.  After I moved to West Michigan, I was eager to find others to run with and learn about area jogging trails and races.  The Grand Rapids Running Club is friendly and organized for people on a budget, only $17 a year for membership. What activity do you like to do?  Where is the group for that?  Maybe you could start a new group.

2. Self-improvement: If you’re a fitness nut, you may need to find a place to practice yoga or Pilates.  Most cities offer classes you can sign up for.  Maybe you need to improve your public speaking skills.  Several of my students have gained more confidence speaking English in public through membership in Toastmasters.

Bible study group (source: atlantavineyard.com)

3. Spiritual support: In the U.S., many people find membership in a church a great way to meet people and experience a personal and spiritual connection.  For newcomers who are Christian, joining a congregation is a terrific way of gaining relationships with Americans.  Of course, once you join a church, the other members will probably invite you to participate in both social and volunteer activities.

4. Get yourself adopted: For those internationals who are lucky enough to have an American host family, you know how invaluable it can be to have someone looking out for you.  Exchange students are able to develop close-knit relationships that last decades, all the while getting advice on the mundane aspects of life like taxes, driver licenses, and RSVPs.

5. Be where you live: If you are new to a neighborhood, you need to get to know your neighbors.  This will be helpful the next time you lock yourself out of your house, have a flat tire, or need someone to accept a delivery for you.  A good way to meet people is to just go up and introduce yourself when you see someone walking on the sidewalk or watering their lawn.  I know not everyone is as outgoing as I am, so you can also watch out for upcoming gatherings through a homeowners association, Neighborhood Watch, or block party.

Neighbors get together at a neighborhood block party (source: KathyButler northjersey.com)

Sometimes it’s all about the community.  Here are some ways you can share yourself through volunteerism and make friends in the process.

6. Share the skills!  Even if English is your second language, you can probably read and write better than a child.  Perhaps you have really good math skills.  Consider becoming a community tutor at your local literacy center.

7. Money mentoring: Maybe you’re a shrewd businessperson.  Junior Achievement is always looking for volunteers to teach students about money management, entrepreneurism, and personal finance.

Source: mrsmillersclass.org

8. Be a good sport! Coaching youth sports teams (whether or not you have kids) is one way to stay physically active while sharing your love for your favorite sport.

Volunteers pose in their clean-up vests at the side of the road.

9. Community activities: One of my students joined an Adopt-a-highway group to pick up litter along a local roadway.  He said every time he drives past that stretch, he feels such a sense of pride and ownership of this piece of West Michigan.  Another avenue for community volunteering is the Grand Rapids Festival of the Arts, the largest all-volunteer festival in the U.S.  Activities range from setting up chairs or painting designs on children’s faces to working on the clean-up crew.

These signs in Michigan are accompanied by a second sign listing the name of the organization responsible for that stretch of road.

10. Your kids, your community!  Your children’s elementary school is always looking for volunteers (room parent, field trip chaperone, technology assistance, shelving books in the library).  Most kids love seeing their parents involved at their school.  “That’s my dad/mom!” they proudly tell their classmates.  That could be you!  This local list from Grand Rapids gives examples of the kinds of volunteer opportunities available at American public schools. For more volunteer opportunities in West Michigan, go here. Across the United States, here are volunteer opportunities listed by state.

Kids get on a school bus for a field trip. Would you enjoy being a chaperone?

I’m sure you have many more suggestions from your own experience.  I invite you to share them here.  In the mean time, I wish you good connections in your adopted communities!

* Of course, meeting Americans and fitting into the community is important.  However, I don't dismiss the need to connect to your own ethnic group to give you a touchstone.  Belonging to a mosque or temple or other affinity group from your home country can be a source of stability and calm as you navigate the new waters of the USA.  Just don't become dependent on them as you make your transition to interdependence.

The ABCs of College Basketball’s March Madness

So, your American co-workers have undoubtedly been talking about the college basketball tournament and their brackets.  For some of you, this will be a new conversation.  Both men’s and women’s teams compete in this annual event.  I will focus my comments here on the men’s side of the sport. This past weekend, American television was overflowing with basketball games.  At work on Monday morning, conversations definitely included discussion of who won, who lost, and how everyone did in their predictions following two rounds of play. To help you understand better, we outline the ABCs of this time of year known as March Madness.

(photo source: Wikipedia)

A is for Americana.  The annual basketball tournament captures the attention of fans and casual fans across the entire United States.  A is also for alliteration (using the same first letters).  Anything worth selling is worthy of catchy names.  Winners of the rounds of 64 and 32 advance to the Sweet Sixteen.  From there, game winners can join the Elite Eight, the Final Four, and the Top Two.  Of course, March Madness is also an alliteration.

B is for brackets.  There are six full rounds of games played over the course of three weeks.  Losers go home; winners advance to the next round.  It’s dramatic and emotional. B is also for betting.  Many work groups organize betting pools where each worker chooses his or her winners.  Typical bets are between $5-20 but occasionally go higher.  B is also for bracket busters.  As you look at the chart below, you will notice many of the teams were predicted to be in the top four of their regional grouping; consequently, there are teams with a ranking of 1, 2, 3, or 4.  However, there are also teams picked 9th, 12th, 13th, and 15th.  Because most people in the betting pools selected the favorites, these underdogs* busted many brackets.   Teams like Oregon and LaSalle were not popular picks in the betting pools.  And this year’s Cinderella (team that no one expected to be invited to the big dance) is the team from Florida Gulf Coast University, the first-ever #15 seed** to advance to the Sweet Sixteen.

"Sparty" is the Spartan mascot from Michigan State University (photo source: msu.edu).

Jayhawk mascot from the University of Kansas (photo source: about.com)

C is for collegiate.  College sports are always less predictable than professional sports.  This is because the participants are 18-22 years old, have less-developed skill sets, and can fluctuate from sublime self-confidence to complete psychological collapse.  This makes betting on the sport wildly uncertain, as noted in the bracket discussion above. C is also for craziness.  Fans of the college game are wildly passionate, mostly because students of college age have maximum enthusiasm and energy.  The tournament is also crazy because of the sheer number of games played in a short amount of time, especially the first weekend.

If you want to be included in the conversation, just ask someone, “How did your brackets do?”  Then, just sit back and listen to the stories.

The 16 men's teams left in this year's tournament

The match-ups above represent the teams in the coming weekend of play.  If you were not able to join the betting pool for the first weekend, see if you can convince your co-workers to start a fresh pool for the final two weeks.  You can call it a do-over or second-chance pool.  There will be support for this idea among the poor fans who predicted that #2 Georgetown or #1 Gonzaga would win the entire tournament.

A note on Mascots: Most of the team mascots are represented by the world of animals or people.  This year’s field of 16 includes mascots as follows. People: Hoosiers, Explorers, Spartans, Blue Devils, Shockers Birds: Eagles (2), Cardinals, Ducks, Jayhawks Animals: Wildcats, Gators, Wolverines Forces of nature: Hurricanes Colors: Orange Nuts: Buckeyes

Read more here.

*Underdogs are teams which no one predicts to win.  This article is about being an underdog.  It says “Florida Gulf Coast Crashes Sweet Sixteen.”  The expression “to crash a party” means to attend a party where you were not expected or invited. **To seed means to arrange the drawing for positions in a tournament so that the more skilled teams meet in the later rounds.