Church Signs

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American churches often have exterior signs to announce worship schedules, upcoming sermon topics, and general moral advice.  Happily, the employees who change the signs often post clever messages with a sense of humor, giving passersby something to think about or chuckle about.  This week, our What's So Funny? segment starts a series of clever American church signs.  Do you get what's so funny?

This image is courtesy of Youth 360 Ministries, Alabama.

This image is courtesy of Youth 360 Ministries, Alabama.

A common U.S. bumper sticker is HONK IF YOU LOVE ____.  The blank might include JESUS, the DETROIT LIONS, or SCUBA DIVING, for example.  The idea is to get other motorists to show their agreement with your message by honking their horn.

What's So Funny?

If you text while you are driving, you may be killed in a car crash.  In this case, most Christians believe you will meet Jesus (or God) in heaven after you die.  The sign is a clever way of saying not to text and drive.

Stay tuned.  We have more funny church signs coming!

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Alan Headbloom

Alan advises Americans how to be global citizens and expats how to fit in to Michigan culture without annoying their native coworkers and clients. He also tweets and blogs at the intersection of language and culture. Over decades, he's traveled, studied, or lived on six continents, putting strange foods into his mouth and emitting strange sounds from it. His use of English, German, Spanish, Portuguese, French, Swedish, Hausa, and Japanese all improve with alcohol use. He gives invited public presentations on culture and unsolicited private advice on English grammar and usage; the latter isn't always appreciated. Visit his website for information on consulting, coaching, or speaking engagements.