The Sweetest Sound: Getting Names Right

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How do you respond when you hear a name that’s not familiar?  Maybe it’s a very long or unusual name.  Maybe it’s foreign sounding to your ear.

In any case, while it may seem strange to you, it’s pretty important to the person who carries the name.  I know some Americans who feel embarrassed about saying unusual, foreign-sounding names.

Sometimes they just smile and nod, but they never make the effort to say the name out loud.  Worse yet, they may say, “How about if I just call you Bud?”

News flash: These are not good approaches.  Just as your name is important to you, so is each unique name important to its owner.  Let me give you some tips.

If you don’t understand the person’s name, just smile and say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that.  Could you say it again?”

If you don’t understand a second time, it’s not a big deal.  Chances are, the person knows he or she has a difficult name.  The person will feel respected, however, if you make the effort to say their name.

Maybe you can ask them to repeat slowly.  You can say, “Sorry, I’m not good at names, but I’d really like to get your name right.  Can you help me learn it?”

A great example is our guest Reouhidi Ndjerareou.  The average American—me too, actually—gets a little freaked out when we see too many vowels or too many consonants stacked up in a way that looks unfamiliar (not the English way, basically).

One thing that helps me is to make up mnemonics for words that are hard to remember.  In our friend’s case, I think of rowing a boat across a small pond and seaweed gets all over your oars.  In other words, I think of “row” and “weedy.”  That may not be the perfect way to say his name, but it’s close enough to help me remember it and close enough for Reouhidi to feel I respected his name.

If you go to our What’s Up? webpage at FeelLikeYouBelong.com, we offer more tips for working with unfamiliar names.  In the meantime, don’t be shy, learn a new name, and make someone’s day!

Illegal or Undocumented?

Narration: Alan Headbloom Animation: Paige Thulin Studio Production: Jaclyn Ermoyan, Ryan Gravelle, Josh Moreno, Staci Sherman Ukulele: Paige Thulin When talking about immigration, when do we use the word "illegal" and when do we say "undocumented"? Here is a simple guide to help you get the right words for your next conversation.

Can a person be illegal?  According to immigrant rights activists, no.  Only their activities can be called legal or illegal.

And last year, the Associated Press (followed later by other U.S. news organizations) AGREED with those people and decided to change how they refer to people who enter a country without documentation.

Just the other day, my friend Corin and I were having a conversation on this topic.  Like most of us, she wanted to show sensitivity to the situation of others but said it’s hard to know what to say.  From that, I developed a simple guideline for your future conversations.

The primary thing to understand is people and actions are separate.

Therefore, a PERSON

• is undocumented
• is without papers
• overstayed his/her visa
• doesn’t have official status

On the other hand, a PERSON’S STATUS or ENTRY

• is illegal (or is legal)           

For example: Raymond came to the U.S. illegally when he was in high school, but now he’s a naturalized American citizen.

• came here legally (or illegally)

For example: Christiana entered legally on a student visa, but she stayed on past the expiration date after she met her future husband.

So, to review:

• People ENTER illegally (see “enter” is an action verb), but
• People ARE undocumented.  (“be” is a non-action verb)

I hope this helps your future conversations.  Let us know if you have other questions, and we’ll try to answer them in future segments of What’s Up?

First Impressions (Part 4)

6. Remembering names: An old proverb says, “The sweetest sound to the human ear is that of one's own name.”  If you are able to recall a name later in the conversation or in future meetings, you signal to the other person that you value knowing him/her and have made the effort to remember his/her name.  For this purpose, insert the name in the conversation several times before saying goodbye.  For example, "How long have you lived in Hong Kong, Rebecca?"  Making a comment: "Wow, Doug, that's a great tie.  Did you find it here in the city?"

If the person comes from a different background, the name may be unusual.  If you don't understand the name upon introduction, immediately ask for help since repetition is crucial.  "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that.  Could you say that name again?"  If you don't catch it a second time, apologize for not hearing it and ask the person to spell it.  This may lead to an interesting conversation about the person's name and background.  For example, "I've never heard the name Headbloom before.  Is it common in the U.S.?"

 7. Saying goodbye: Farewells provide one last chance to practice the new person's name.  Be sure to include it: "It was so nice to meet you, Samuel.  I look forward to seeing you again soon."  If there was something particularly interesting in the conversation, you may close with, "Sarah, I look forward to continuing our conversation about [say, World Cup soccer]."  or "I enjoyed hearing your thoughts on [say, student scholarships]."

Americans may not shake hands on subsequent greeting, especially if they meet fairly often.  However, it is appropriate to shake hands in farewell after the first meeting.  If the conversation has gone particularly well or a special warmth was felt, the handshake may be accompanied by one or two pats of the left palm on the person's shoulder or upper arm when saying goodbye.  If you feel a particular closeness to the other person, the double-handed handshake can communicate special warmth.

So, there you have it: 7 tips on making a good first impression.  If you have other questions on interacting with Americans, send them to us via our website, Facebook, or Twitter.  Who knows?  Perhaps we will feature your question in a future segment.  Take care, now! 

First Impressions (Part 3)

 4. Language: Say, "It's a pleasure to meet you, [so-and-so]." You will need to repeat this person's name three times during the first meeting if you want to remember the name.  Please note: English speakers say "meet" only on the first meeting.  On a following meeting, say, "It's nice to see you again."  (Not "meet you again.")  Another option might be: "It's really great to finally meet you, Susan.  Ben here has told me so many good things about you."

5. Informality: Americans tend to be less formal than many cultures and often call each other by first name.  If you are a student meeting other students your age, this is appropriate.  However, it is not a bad idea to show respect to an older person when you first meet him/her by using the person's title plus last name (instead of first name only).  Here, you can take a cue from the person who is introducing you.  Note the difference in the sentences below.

· Khalil, this is my old friend, Bob.  (Your reply: "Nice to meet you, Bob.") 

· Khalil, this is my friend, Bob Pesek.  Dr. Pesek is director of XYZ Institute.  (Your polite reply: "It's nice to meet you, Dr. Pesek.")

After a while in the conversation, Dr. Pesek may invite you to "call me Bob," which you are then welcome to do.  Note: Americans use a title (Mr, Ms,* Dr, Capt, Pastor) only with a last name.  Some cultures (for example, Arabic) use the title along with a first name, but this is inappropriate in English.  So, for example, do not say "Mr. Alan" or "Ms. Jaclyn."

First Impressions (Part 2)

3. Handshaking: If your first culture does not usually shake hands, this is an area of special importance.  Americans are taught to believe that a firm handshake is a sign of sincerity and good character.  There are five levels of firmness in a handshake.

1.      the dead fish: the hand is limp and unresponsive and feels like a piece of lifeless meat

2.      weak handshake: the hand is somewhat engaged but feels soft and unsure

3.      moderate handshake: the grip has medium resistance

4.      firm handshake: the hand is strong and confident

5.      the bone crusher: this handshake hurts you and makes you wish this person were from a bowing culture

Everyone needs to grip somewhere in the middle, avoiding levels 1 (wet noodle) and 5 (knuckle grinder).  It is a good idea for men to grip between 3 and 4 on the handshake scale.  For women, a firmness of about 3 is considered appropriate in business contexts.  The old-fashioned handshake for American women was to shake at only the fingers or fingertips.  In today's business world, both men and women are expected to shake hands with the hands fully engaged, with the web between the thumb and index finger touching the web of the other person.  If the other person's handshake is weak or not fully engaged, it communicates reluctance or disinterest in the relationship. On the other side, the "bone crusher" handshake is viewed as too aggressive or perhaps just insensitive.

When meeting an American, engage in eye contact, smile, and pump the other person's hand 2-3 times (about one second), then let go.  Occasionally, a person will hold on longer than this, which might be taken as a sign of extra friendliness; however, too long of a grip (say, over 2 seconds) can make an American feel uncomfortable.  To show extra warmth or hospitality, Americans may put the palm of their left hand on the back of the person's right hand so that his/her hand is sandwiched between both of their hands.  This double-handed grip may last 1-2 seconds.  Be careful with elderly acquaintances; an extra firm handshake may injure their fragile hands.  I recommend you ask your American friends to test your handshake for the appropriate level of contact and firmness.

*NOTE: Today, the formal way of addressing a woman is with the title "Ms." plus last name.  The distinction of marital status between "Miss" and "Mrs."  is seen by contemporary professional women as unnecessary and out-dated.  However, if you know that a person prefers the more traditional Mrs. or Miss, then you should use that title in connection with her last name.

(For more information on handshaking etiquette, go here: http://bit.ly/JnzHJm.)

First Impressions (Part 1)

Every culture has rules for when you first meet someone.  American culture is no different.  Americans make a judgment about the person they meet based not only on his/her language and behavior but also on such details as facial expressions and perceived warmth.  To ensure a first meeting with an American businessperson goes well, here are some basics to keep in mind.

1. Eye contact: Look the other person in the eye.  This shows confidence and is taken as a sign of sincerity.  Avoiding eye contact makes a person appear weak or hiding something, maybe not trustworthy.  After a few seconds, you can take a break and look away, then look back for several more seconds.  (Looking away occasionally is important because eye contact for 100% of the time might be seen as too aggressive or having sexual interest.)

2. Facial expression: Smile.*  Americans see this as a sign of warmth and friendliness.  It indicates openness and a willingness to work together.  You will notice that Americans usually smile in all their photographs.  This certainly includes Facebook pictures, but it will usually include photos taken for work badges or their company website.  This is often not the case in other countries.

_____________________

*NOTE: While we cannot control the teeth we are born with, American dental practice has raised expectations of good dental health for anyone in the public eye.  Teeth that are missing, crooked, or stained can harm a person's professional appearance.  For this reason, many American adults are getting braces to align crooked teeth.  Dental implants are now commonly sought to replace lost teeth.  Treatments are also available to whiten teeth that are stained due to aging, cigarette smoking, or coffee and tea drinking.

Confusing English Pronunciation: Overview of American English Vowels

Why do learners have such a hard time with English sounds? Blame it on the Normans!
 

How the Monkeys Saved the Fish

How the Monkeys Saved the Fish

This folktale comes from the East African country of Tanzania. Does your culture have colorful folktales that offer wisdom and insight into human behavior?  Please share them with us!

Gizmos and Do-hickeys

Gizmos and Do-hickeys: Things you Forgot or Don’t Know the Names of

I’m not very mechanically minded.  There are lots of tools and devices I don’t know the names for.  This thing, for example: [show gadget].  Or what do you call this thing? [show gadget 2]

In English, there are technical words for items that the average person does not know the name. This is because every area of life—from auto mechanics to medicine, to architecture and barbering—have more details than we non-specialists can handle. In short, it takes an expert to identify and label these specialized items.

When we don’t know what to call something in English, we use a word that means “it’s a thing, but I don’t know the name for it.” In standard English, we may call something a gadget, a widget, or a device.  If it’s bigger, we might call it  a contraption.

But on the informal side, there are more interesting words that Americans use when they don’t know what to call something:

a gizmo

a thingamabob

a thingamajig or a thingy

a do-hickey or doodad or doojigger

My favorite is whatchamacallit – which is a slurring together of the phrase “what[ever] you may call it.”

And then there’s the related whatsis – from the question “What is this?”

The next time you’re helping an American friend with a project, don’t be shy about your limited vocabulary.  Everything has a name for it. Just call it a thingamabob...or maybe a do-hickey!

Tips for Becoming an Ugly Expat

Maria Foley is a Canadian blogger who lived overseas with her family for several years.  During that time, she wrote many funny blogs about the mistakes she made while living in Australia, France, and Singapore.  From her experience, she developed a list of tips on how to be a really terrible expat.

1. First off, she suggests you don’t waste time doing research about the country you’re moving to or its people.  After all, the country’s history or cultural values aren’t really important.  And those cross-cultural training companies are just trying to take your money.

2.  Something else you should do is to isolate yourself. If you lock yourself up in your overseas condo, you won’t have to have contact with those silly local people. Spend all your time at the exclusive expatriate club in town so you can criticize the locals with your fellow expats.

3. Next, show off how much money you have, especially if you live in a developing nation. Your wealth will show the locals that you are someone important and to be admired.

4. One more tip I’ll leave you with: Speak your native language the whole time, especially if it is English. The locals will have to get used to the fact that your language is the global language of business and of educated expats everywhere.

Maria’s blog can be read at www.iwasanexpatwife.com.

No "Itch" in Michigan

I can always tell when someone is new to the Great Lake State. In the first few minutes of conversation, it usually comes out how they just moved to “Mitch-igan.” As a good ambassador of the mitten-shaped peninsula, I then have to correct them. “It’s pronounced Mish-igan,” I say, sometimes adding that the spelling came from the early French trappers and explorers who beat the British to the upper Midwest. (It’s hard to stop a good teacher-ambassador once he gets started.)

It comes as no surprise to students of English that the spelling system of this language is a nightmare. Almost half of our words are Germanic, coming from Anglo-Saxon; nearly another half come from Latin via Old French. Add to that a sprinkling of Arabic, Spanish, Greek, and other languages, and it is clear that our vocabulary—and the system used to spell it—is one huge mish-mash of letters, letter clusters, and even silent letters.

The good news is that there is a basic rule here. Most of the time, the “ch” cluster in English is pronounced /t∫/ as in child or lunch. Here are some common place names or people names which English speakers know:Chelsea, Massachusetts, Charleston, Chattanooga, Richmond…I’ll give you more examples on our website. And if your native language is Spanish, you will already know the correct pronunciation of those words.

Exception #1: At question today is the spelling cluster “ch” as we see in Michigan. Students who have studied French or Portuguese know that these two letters represent the linguistic symbol /∫/ or the English cluster “sh” as in she.

Here are some common “ch” place names or people names with the /∫/ pronunciation:Chicago, Michigan, Cheyenne, Charlotte, Michelle, Cheryl, Michelin, Chevron, Chanel, Chevrolet, and Cher. Maybe you can find more examples.

Exception #2: Another way to pronounce “ch” is with the /k/ sound. These words often come into English from Greek or Italian: chronicle, chemistry, stomach, echo, Christmas, headache, Chrysler, and chrome.  Ask your American friends for more examples.

Exception #3: The last group of exceptions to the “ch” rule are words which come from Hebrew. These words have the sound /X/ with friction coming from the back of the mouth (similar to the “ch” in Bach). Because most English speakers can’t pronounce /X/, they just substitute a /h/ sound in these Hebrew words. Here are a few well-known examples: chutzpah, challah, Chanukah.

For newcomers to my state, here is a tip for you: Michigan sounds like fish-again or wish-again. 

So, repeat after me: “Oh, how I wish-again I were in Michigan learning to fish-again.” 

Happy practicing, everybody!

Bangladeshi Parking Police

What’s the best way for immigrants to make a living in New York City?  Well, if you are like hundreds of newcomers from Bangladesh, the answer is the NYPD, specifically, working in the parking enforcement division.

It stands to reason, in a city with millions of parked cars, many of them have to be parked illegally.  And someone has to give them tickets.

Although they make up less than 1% of New York’s population, Bangladeshis comprise more than 10% of the city’s 3000 parking officers. It turns out it’s a good job for someone with only a high school diploma, with a starting salary of $29k/year, generous pensions, and insurance benefits.

You might ask why so many Bangladeshis in the parking ticket business.  A lot has a lot to do with word of mouth, specifically Showkat Khan, a 53-year-old traffic agent who gives seminars to his countrymen and helps them prepare for the Civil Service exam required for the job.

If you get a ticket in the Big Apple, don’t bother yelling at the ticketing officer, “Go back to your country!”  That sort of thing does not bother veteran agent Jamil Sarwar, who just ignores them because he knows he’s just doing his job. Hey, he says, “I work for the city.”

According to the New York Times, about one-quarter of Bangladeshis who became parking agents have gone on to become police officers in the New York Police Department.  And in a city with such a diversity of citizens, it really makes sense to have officers who represent that same diversity.

Photo credit: New York Times

Cuppa Joe

Ahhhh, there’s nothing I enjoy more in the morning than a good cuppa joe.  It just starts my day off…  What’s that?  What’s a “cuppa joe”?  Sorry.  I was using American slang there.

A cuppa joe is a cup of coffee.  Americans have been calling coffee “joe” for many years.  Where did this come from?  Well, linguists aren’t sure, but some of them think it is a shortening—or corruption—of the word “jamocha,” which means coffee.

Lots of companies use “joe” in their coffee marketing.  My local Speedway gas station will sell you a commuter mug with “Joe” printed on the side; when you stop for refills with that mug, you get a discount on your coffee purchase.

Starbucks Coffee sponsors a morning talk show called “Morning Joe,” which features a political analyst named Joe Scarborough.  Notice the letter “o” in the logo looks like a circular stain left by your coffee mug on the table.

There’s a coffee mug with Vice President Joe Biden’s picture on it.  Hey, Joe, nice mug shot!

There’s even a Michigan coffee shop called Cuppa Joe.

So, now you’re wondering why is it spelled “cuppa”?  That’s because the word “of” in the expression “cup of coffee” isn’t very important—it’s only a preposition, after all—so Americans just mumble that word, and it sort of sounds like “uh.”

So, the next time your American coworkers invite you for a cuppa joe, just say thanks and go along with them.  Unless you’re a tea drinker.  Then you can order a cuppa tea.

Zeno Radio

Cellphones As Radios: Immigrants Dial In To Native Stations

Can you imagine what it would be like to drive a taxicab for 10 to 12 hours a day?  What if you didn’t speak English very well?  I think the hours would get pretty boring.

Well, one entrepreneur in NYC has come to the rescue of thousands of immigrant cab drivers with an invention called Zeno Radio.

The idea is to connect U.S. immigrants with radio stations back in their home countries.  The beauty of Zeno is that the only equipment that’s required is a person’s cellphone.

Zeno customers can program their phones to receive faraway broadcasts from Egypt, Morocco, Somalia, and Senegal—just to name a few.  A hundred of the stations broadcast in French.

For many homesick immigrants, Zeno gives them a feeling of being back home.  The broadcasts aren’t necessarily special, but just hearing some normalcy in the form of music and news reports can relieve the stress of being separated from one’s homeland.

Zeno operates on even simple, inexpensive cellphones, and it is cost-effective because most cellphone users have unlimited data and calling packages.

Baruch Herzfeld (photo source: www.metro.us)

Zeno founder Baruch Herzfeld says subscribers can access 2,000 or more stations. It earns money from advertising and investors, and makes a few cents per call from telephone routing companies with space wanting more business.

Immigrants working in solitary jobs and feeling culturally isolated can feel a little less lonely these days, thanks to Zeno Radio.

Check out their website here: http://zenoradio.com.

Duck, Duck, Goose

The world of children’s games turned upside down this week in the U.S. when it was discovered that the national game of duck-duck-goose is not played the same across the entire country.  According to an article in BuzzFeed.com, one location, the north-central state of Minnesota, has been saying “Duck, duck...gray duck!” with their children.

For those viewers who are not familiar, duck-duck-goose is a long-standing school game where all participants sit on the ground facing into a circle, and a lone person—designated as “it”—stands outside of the circle.  This person walks counter-clockwise around the circle tapping each sitting person on the head or back.  As the “tapper” touches each person, he or she says “duck.”  One or two children may be tapped with “duck,” or perhaps many in a row.  At one point, the tapper taps one person and says “goose!”  The tapped person who is the goose must jump up and chase the tapper around the circle and try to catch him/her before he/she reaches the empty spot just vacated.

For American children, the game is great exercise and filled with suspense about who will get chosen for the chase.

So now, back to the story.  One Minnesotan named Christopher Pollard heard that the rest of the country was saying his state wasn’t playing this game “right,” so he posted to his blog a defense of Minnesota’s playgrounds. Christopher is trying to show the rest of the country how their version of the game is actually better.  Instead of saying just duck-duck-duck, etc., Minnesota kids have to name different colors, for example, “red duck, brown duck, yellow duck, green duck” etc. before shouting “gray duck” and starting the wild chase around the circle.

So, now, if you’re trying to teach your kids a classic American game, you might want to introduce this new twist to their playtime.  While they’re running around, they’ll also be practicing their colors!  And that’s what’s up this week!

Children in Minnesota playing Duck-Duck-Gray Duck (photo source: Minneapolis Star-Tribune)

Polish Woman Becomes U.S. Citizen

Earlier this year, Barbara Kochanek, age 72, had a dream come true: she became a U.S. citizen.  The previous year, she had all but given up on this dream.  An immigrant from Poland, Barbara didn’t speak English very well and she was certain she couldn’t pass the citizenship test.

That was before workers at the International Institute of Metropolitan Detroit  walked her through the process.  They even picked her up—she doesn’t drive—and took her to appointments and even found a translator for her.

Barbara being interviewed by IIMD Executive Director Wojciech Zolnowski (Image via http://newamericamedia.org)

This came about because of a coalition of agencies called the Detroit New Americans Campaign provides pro bono assistance to help green card holders complete their applications for citizenship.

The best news of all: because she is a senior citizen, Barbara met the criteria to take her exam in Polish, her native language.

Ever since coming to the U.S., that had been her dream, to become a U.S. citizen.

In addition to the right to vote, there are scores of other benefits Barbara will no longer worry about: access to programs like Supplemental Security Income and Medicare, the ability to travel outside the U.S. on her passport, and many others, according to Susan Reed, supervising attorney with the Michigan Immigrant Rights Center.

Free citizenship workshops are offered in Metro Detroit.  For more information, visit the website of the Detroit New Americans Campaign at detroitnac.org.

To apply for citizenship, you need:

     • Permanent Resident Card (“Green Card”)

     • Two passport photos

     • Driver’s license or state ID

     • Social Security number

     • All marriage certificates and divorce records

     • Children’s birth certificates (if they are permanent residents)

     • List of residences for the past five years

     • List of employers/schools for the past five years

     • List of each trip taken outside the U.S.

     • Check for $680, payable to the Department of Homeland Security

In the meantime, we offer a hearty welcome to Barbara Kochanek, one of our newest fellow citizens!

WHA Refugee Simulation

Today’s news comes from across the pond in Geneva, Switzerland, where students at Webster University’s Geneva campus are getting a hands-on feel for the lives of international refugees.  The student-run Webster Humanitarian Association offers an intensive three-day simulation that participants will not soon forget.

Simulation participants begin their first day as refugees with a 5-km hike to the  Webster campus.  They are divided into “families,” given stories of fleeing from persecution, and even given sacks of flour to represent their babies they must care for.  They are treated gruffly by actors playing officials and guards.  They are separated, questioned, and searched. The lengthy interrogations often take place in a language they don’t understand. “Refugees” experience threats and a lack of food and water.  Participants are told that during this process, the women are often repeatedly raped.   

The second day of one particular simulation, the participants were awakened in the middle of the night, when the tents were entered, supposedly by the raiders who had chased them from their homes at the beginning of their flight.  They were dragged out into the cold night air and blindfolded, while other raiders re-entered the tents and killed their babies.

Although the refugee simulation was humbling and traumatizing, blogger Roberta Medrano Callejas said she would repeat the experience without hesitation because it had been so thought-provoking.

Webster Humanitarian Association at Webster University’s Geneva, Switzerland, campus promotes learning, human rights, and equality, marking special U.N. days such as the World Aids Day and World Refugee Day.  With its home campus based in St. Louis, MO, Webster’s Geneva campus boasts students from 90 different countries.

Today’s high-five, fist-bump, and tip of the hat go to Webster University for making us a little more aware of real issues going on in our world. 

For more information, check out Webster's site here.

Immigrant Entrepreneur Training

Michigan Launches Program to Help Immigrant Entrepreneurs

In a difficult economic period, there is good news coming out of Detroit.

A Dearborn-based organization is now helping entrepreneurial newcomers through classes, business coaching, and access to business incubators and financial services.

The organization, called ACCESS, recently held a graduation ceremony for the first class of its Immigrant Entrepreneur Development Program, an effort to encourage immigrant- and refugee-based organizations in the metro-Detroit area.

One success story is Dijana Bucalo, a Bosnian refugee who settled in the Detroit suburb of Hamtramck. She came to the United States with no English but with experience as a fashion designer.  The program’s classes and coaching helped her track her cash-flow and build her confidence.

Bucalo has goals to hire a couple of employees with sewing and fashion experience, which is precisely the purpose of the program: to foster entrepreneurs who will then create jobs and strengthen the region.  So, today’s salute goes to the people at ACCESS and the intrepid entrepreneurs they graduate!

Oops, Uh-oh, and Other Non-verbal Expressions

Non-verbal expressions

Would you know what I meant if I said “oops!”?  What about “uh-oh!”?  Sometimes Americans use words that aren’t really words to communicate basic thoughts.  Today's video teaches you seven non-verbal expressions that you will hear from your neighbors and co-workers.  If you see them written, they don’t look like words, but I assure you, they have meanings.  Some of them you may already know.

1.     Mmmm! – This is delicious. 

2.     Oops! – I made a mistake.  Maybe: I dropped something.

3.     Psst. – Come here. I have something private to tell you.

4.     Uhh (or: Ummm…) – I don’t know.  I’m not sure what to say.

5.     Uh-uh. – No. 

6.     Uh-huh. – Yes.  Sure.  I agree.

7.     Uh-oh. – Here comes trouble.  Something wrong is happening.

Several of these expressions are spelled similarly, so listen carefully.  There’s a huge difference between answering a question with uh-huh and uh-uh.  To practice saying them, ask a native speaker to help you practice the right intonation.

You can take a quiz on these expressions below.  (Don't peek above!)

Match these expressions with their meanings:

a) Mmmm!

b) Oops!

c) Psst.

d) Uhh/Ummm… 

e) Uh-uh.

f) Uh-huh. 

g) Uh-oh.  

____ I made a mistake.  Maybe: I dropped something.

____ Here comes trouble.  Something wrong is happening.

____ Yes.  Sure.  I agree.

____ No. 

____ This is delicious. 

____ Come here. I have something private to tell you.

____ I don’t know.  I’m not sure.

[To practice your listening skills, re-visit the What's Up? segment for the show with Paulo Saiani.]

Small Talk Topics

Do you know what questions are okay to ask Americans and which questions will offend them?

Making Small Talk with Americans

Americans are used to making small talk and will frequently strike up a conversation, even with strangers, for example, waiting in a check-out line. For newcomers to the U.S., it is in your best interest to learn the skill of having brief social exchanges with co-workers, neighbors, and people at parties.

Below is a list of possible conversation topics with American acquaintances. Which ones do you think are appropriate to bring up?  Let’s take a look at the first one.  In your culture, is it appropriate to ask someone his/her marital status?

Actually, it is not an appropriate question.  The question has a normative bias to it.  That is, it assumes that getting married is “normal” in society, and this is not true.  For starters, some people are quite happy by themselves and choose not to marry.  Others may be divorced or widowed and uncomfortable talking about it.  Still others may wish to be married but have never been asked.  And finally, it is still not legal in many U.S. states for gay and lesbian adults to marry, so again, this would make some people sad to have to answer “no.”

The other answers to these potential topics can be found in the list below.  Check them out before striking up a conversation with a stranger at a party.

TOPIC:                   APPROPRIATE OR NOT?

marital status        No, as discussed above.

age                        No, Americans don't talk about their age (unless they're students with you).

occupation            Yes, great topic.  "So, what do you do?"  Or: "What are you studying?"

salary                     No, Americans are uncomfortable talking about money.

education              Maybe. No: "Did you go to college?" Yes: "Where did you go to school?"

length of time in this area    Yes, great conversation topic!

weight                     No, this is too personal.

travel interests       Yes, this is a wonderful conversation topic.

family                      Depends. No: "Do you have children?" Yes: "Do you have brothers/sisters?"  

hobbies and pastimes     Yes, this is not only acceptable but also interesting.

political party membership     No, avoid politics with Americans you don't know well.

height                                 No, this is too personal.

cost of person’s watch      No. Remember: no topics related to money.

religion                               No, this is considered too personal.

who person voted for       Nope. Remember: no politics. 

person’s ethnic origin       Maybe. Yes: "That's an interesting last name. Where is it from?"

hometown                          Yes. You can learn a lot by asking about their hometown.