3 Riddles
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Today's WSF? segment is a triple bonus. Alan shares three clever riddles. Do you get the humor of each one? You may need to ask your American friends what's so funny.
Cheap Thesaurus
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I bought a cheap thesaurus. I guess you get what you pay for! Listen why.
A Photon Checks into a Hotel
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This month, we're running a series of science jokes. See if your English (or your science knowledge) is good enough to understand!
City Workers
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A woman is sitting on a bench, reading her newspaper. She notices two city employees busily at work in the park.
What's So Funny?
A common stereotype is that government workers mindlessly follow the rules and procedures of their jobs, without allowing for changes, such as the case of an absent worker (whose job is actually really important).
Dog Video Riddle
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This bit of American humor involves a dog, a video player, and a play on words.
What's So Funny?
The humor here relies on the same pronunciation for the words "pause" (which means to stop or interrupt the video) and "paws" (which are the names of a dog's feet).
Cannibal Joke
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Two cannibals are eating a clown for dinner.
What's So Funny?
In English, when we think something tastes strange or not quite normal, we say it tastes funny. In this joke, the word "funny" has a second meaning because clowns are funny and make us laugh!
Lawyer Fee
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A lawyer charges $1000 for three questions
Doggie Smarts
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How do you test your dog's IQ?
What's So Funny?
Chicken Diagnosis
/A woman goes to see the psychiatrist, "Doctor, my brother thinks he's a chicken."
"Oh, my goodness!" says the psychiatrist. "How long has he thought he was a chicken?"
"Oh, about two years now," says the woman.
"What? Your brother has thought he was a chicken for two years, and you're only coming to see me now?"
"Well…," the woman shrugged, "We needed the eggs."
Vocabulary
to shrug = to raise the shoulders to show a person doesn’t know what to do, to show uncertainty
What's So Funny?
We assume that everyone thinks the brother is crazy to believe he's a chicken. (We do, the psychiatrist does, and the sister does.) However, when the psychiatrist asks why the family took so long to bring the brother's case to medical attention, the answer is that the eggs were important to the family. This claim goes against the case that the brother is crazy because he seems to be producing eggs (just as a real chicken would do).
Angry Tenant Joke
/The tenant was complaining to his landlord, “Those people upstairs are very annoying. Last night they stomped and banged on the floor until midnight.”
“I’m sorry,” said the landlord, “Did they wake you?”
“No,” replied the tenant. “Luckily, I was awake and playing my tuba at the time.”
What’s So Funny?
The tenant was complaining about the upstairs neighbors making noise late at night. However, the reason they were stomping on the floor was to tell the tenant below to stop playing his loud instrument late at night.
Vocabulary
tenant = person who is renting a house or apartment
landlord = person who owns the building and is renting it to a tenant
stomp = to step heavily on the floor and make loud noises with the feet
tuba = large, brass instrument
Broomstick Joke
/Riddle: Why didn't the witch ride on her broom whenever she got angry?
Answer: She was afraid she would fly off the handle.
What's So Funny?
This riddle-joke asks about witches (typically the kind that fly on brooms during Halloween). The answer is funny because it relies on a double meaning. 1. A broom is divided into two parts: the bottom part made of straw does the sweeping, and the top part made of wood is called the handle. 2. The expression "to fly off the handle" means to get suddenly upset or angry.
Example: No one likes working with Barry because he's so unpredictable. He sometimes flies off the handle for no apparent reason.
Clock Riddle
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Riddle: How do you know a clock is hungry?
Answer: It goes back four seconds.
What's So Funny?
This riddle is funny to English speakers because "four seconds" sounds the same as another expression, "for seconds." This other expression means when you've enjoyed your food so much, you go back to the kitchen to re-fill your plate a second time (for seconds).
Alphabetic Admiration
/Some of the best jokes happen between spouses. That’s because, the longer you’re married to someone, the more you know their strengths—and their weaknesses, which we then joke about. Here’s one involving a husband and wife.
Husband: "Darling, how would you describe me?"
Wife: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Husband: "What does that mean?"
Wife: "Adorable, brilliant, clever, delightful, elegant, fashionable, generous, and handsome."
Husband: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Wife: "I'm just kidding!"
