sharing the life stories of immigrants, expatriates, and refugees to the United States
This bit of American humor involves a dog, a video player, and a play on words.
What's So Funny?
The humor here relies on the same pronunciation for the words "pause" (which means to stop or interrupt the video) and "paws" (which are the names of a dog's feet).
A lawyer charges $1000 for three questions
A dog walks into a bar and orders a martini.
What's So Funny?
This joke relies on the mismatch of intentions. When the bartender asks his question, his focus (and surprise) is on seeing a DOG ordering martinis. When the dog answers, its focus is on the terribly high PRICES of the drinks. Humor often relies on switching expectations between the beginning of the joke and the punchline.
As we’ve discussed on previous shows, one difficult aspect of learning a second language is adapting to humor that involves plays on words. They are also called puns. The appropriate way to receive a pun when it is told is to pretend you didn’t think it was funny. You may stare at the pun-teller or even let out a groan (unnnhh!). We don’t want to give punsters credit for clever wordplay, but usually we end up smiling or even laughing. Here is a clever wordplay that most Americans would chuckle over. The question: is it funny to you?
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The wedding ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
What's So Funny?
This joke involves one word having two different meanings.
This is funny because the word "reception" can refer to a celebration party held after a wedding and can also refer to the process of receiving information through an antenna to a television.
As we’ve discussed on previous shows, one difficult aspect of learning a second language is adapting to humor that involves plays on words. They are also called puns. The appropriate way to receive a pun when it is told is to pretend you didn’t think it was funny. You may stare at the pun-teller or even let out a groan (unnnhh!). We don’t want to give punsters credit for clever wordplay, but usually we end up smiling or even laughing. Here is a clever wordplay that most Americans would chuckle over. The question: is it funny to you?
The importance of nonverbal communication goes without saying.
What's So Funny?
This joke involves a play on words that a friend of mine made at a meeting. This joke plays on the fact that non-verbal communication uses no words, just facial expressions, hand gestures, etc. The expression "goes without saying" means that everyone knows this and you don't have to mention it.
“Boater[1] Confirmation Number”
Amer Zahr graciously gave permission for us to share this short comedy sketch with you. Immediately below is a transcript. After that is an explanation of the humor.
Operator: Okay, sir, we have completed your reservation. Are you ready for your confirmation number?[2]
Customer: Sure, go ahead.
O: Okay, it’s going to be A as in “apple.”
C: Okay.
O: P as in “Peter.”[3]
C: What?
O: P as in “Peter.”
C: You mean B as in “boy.”
O: No, I mean P as in “Peter.” Not B as in “boy.” I said P, not B.
C: Huh?
O: I said P, not B.
C: Okay, whatever.[4]
O: Then it’s going to be the letter O as in the “Occupation of the Palestinian people.”[5]
C: What? Excuse me?
O: Okay, then it’s going to be the letter H.
C: What was that?
O: H! H!
C: “Etch” as in “Etch-a-Sketch”?[6]
O: H! H as in “Harry.” H.
C: Oh, H.
O: Yeah, H.
C: H.
O: H.
C: H.
O: H.
C: Fine.
O: Okay. Then, finally going to be the number 6.[7]
C: What (in the h…)?[8]
O: The number 6.
C: Sir, I cannot understand anything that you are telling me.
O: 6...6. Are you saying I can’t count?[9] 6. 6. Fine. You want me to count? I count to 100 for you, okay? 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12-13-14-15-16-17-18-19-20-21-22-23-24-25-26-27-28-29-30-31-32-33-34-35-36-37-38-39-40-41-42-43-44-45-46-47-48-49-50-51-52-53-54-55-56-57-58-59-60-61-62-63-64-65-66-67-68-69-70-71-72-73-74-75-76-77-78-79-80-81-82-83-84-85-86-87-88-89-90-91-92-93-94-95-96-97-98-99-100. Okay? I can count to fucking 100.[10]
C: All right, sir. No need to...
O: Well, you know, I can count, okay?
C: All right. I got it.
O: Okay. Would you like me to repeat that for you?
C: Shit.
Explanations and Background: 1. A common slang term for immigrants in the Arab community is “boaters.” This refers to new arrivals who “just stepped off the boat” into the new country (even if the immigrants arrived by airplane). 2. Many monolingual Americans are frustrated by the foreign accents of non-native English speakers answering the phone when they call for customer support. In this case, a white American is getting a confirmation number for his reservation, and an Arab operator is handling the call.
3. The Arabic language doesn’t use the P sound, so they have a hard time distinguishing P and B when speaking English. (In this case, “Peter” sounds like “beater.”) Americans use words to help distinguish letters that sound alike: B/P, C/Z, F/S, M/N, B/V.
4. Americans say “whatever” when they are frustrated or don’t care.
5. Palestinians had been living in Palestine for 600 years until the United Nations created the state of Israel. Since 1948, Israel has taken more and more of the Palestinian lands, so a persistent Palestinian conversation is how they live under foreign occupation. Here, Zahr jokes that Palestinians even bring up this subject when it is unrelated to the business at hand.
6. An Etch-a-Sketch is a child’s drawing toy.
7. Arab speakers have a hard time saying consonant clusters like the K+S sound of the letter X (like in “six”).
8. “What in the hell?” is a frustrated way of communicating confusion or lack of understanding.
9. The Arab operator is frustrated when the native speaker doesn’t understand him. Even though he is not a native speaker, he is proud of his intelligence. He eventually “proves” his skills by counting (tediously) to 100.
10. The humor here is compounded by the operator’s repeated mispronunciation of “sikas” and “sikasty.
A Catholic priest
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi are friends and drinking at their favorite bar. Another bar patron comments that bringing non-believers to God isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be converting a bear.
Many drinks later, they decide to have a competition. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it. The next week, they would get together to discuss the results.
A week goes by, and the three are reunited...at the hospital.
Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary, Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."
Patient with arm in a cast and a sling.
Reverend Billy Bob, who was in a wheelchair, speaks up next. In his best fire-and-brimstone speech he exclaims, " Well, brothers, I went out and I found me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's Holy Word! But that bear wanted nothing to do with Scripture. So I took hold of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled up one hill and down another until we rolled into a creek. There, I quick dunked him and baptized his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."
Patient in a wheelchair with head bandaged and leg in a cast.
Then, they both turn to look at the rabbi, who is lying in a hospital bed. He is in a full-body cast and traction, with IVs and monitors attached everywhere. He is in bad shape.
The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
Patient in a hospital bed with a leg in traction.
What's So Funny?
This joke has a lot of cultural aspects to it, and a lot of religious vocabulary as well. It relates to stereotypes of Roman Catholic priests, Protestant ministers, and Jewish rabbis.
Priests are often characterized as Irish, and in fact, most of the nation of Ireland is Roman Catholic. Priests are called "Father" by members of the Catholic church. Flannery is a common Irish name. In Catholicism, priests may sprinkle holy water on people to bless them. In the joke, the priest has successfully converted his bear after putting drops of holy water on its head. Catholics mention Mary, the mother of Jesus, more often than Protestants do. The priest's superior, the bishop, will come to perform two Catholic rituals on the bear to finalize its conversion.
In the U.S., Protestant ministers are stereotyped as being loud, enthusiastic about their religion, and having Southern accents. Evangelical ministers preach "fire and brimstone" sermons with the message that if you don't believe in God, you will burn forever in hell after death. Men in the U.S. South are stereotyped as having double names (like Billy Bob, Jimmy Jack, or Bobby Joe). Sometimes the Bible is referred to as "God's Holy Word" or "Scripture." Many evangelical ministers do not believe in merely sprinkling new believers with a few drops of water. Instead, they prefer to immerse their entire body under water in a river or a baptismal pool.
Finally, Jews are stereotyped as having New York City accents. In fact, many Jews do live in NYC. (To hear a much better NY Jewish accent than mine, check out this link.) Like Christians, Jews believe in God, but they don't believe in Jesus. One job of a Jewish rabbi is to remove the foreskin (of the penis) of young boys in a ritual that welcomes them into adult membership of the religion. This is not a good idea to try with an angry bear, however.
A Protestant minister
A Jewish rabbi
Feel Like You Belong is a sometimes serious, sometimes funny, always “touch-your-heart” real conversation about fitting into the American culture. It introduces guests who have made the immigrant journey to the United States. The stories–of both struggle and success–will help newcomers feel more confident in sharing their opinions and expertise, more likely to want to stay in the U.S., be more productive in their jobs, and fully invest in their communities.
